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Music By Turner: Aerosmith CD should be tossed in 'Another Dimension'

Aerosmith's Tom Hamilton (from left), Steven Tyler and Joey Kramer perform a free concert Nov. 5 in Boston's Allston neighborhood as fans watch from the apartment building at 1325 Commonwealth Ave., which was the band's home in the early 1970s.
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Gee, didn’t they have any better toys in their attic than this?

The 15-track latest CD from Aerosmith, Music from Another Dimension, was released Nov. 6.  COLUMBIA RECORDS/ASSOCIATED PRESS
The 15-track latest CD from Aerosmith, Music from Another Dimension, was released Nov. 6.

Isn’t this the Same Old Song and Dance?

When it comes to recording new material, maybe Aerosmith should actually take a Permanent Vacation.

OK, longtime readers of this column are well aware that I usually try to avoid clichés like the plague. But all poor puns aside, one listen to Aerosmith’s Music from Another Dimension, their first album of all-new material in 11 years, makes me want to give up recycling anything ever again.

Maybe the group should have taken a cue from The Band and tried Music from Big Pink instead. Pink’s a hot color this fall, y’know.

Besides, even Pink’s album will outsell this Aerosmith album anyway. But I digress, just as the band did this time around.

The Boston-based rockers, currently on their Global Warming Tour, just might be proving with their 15th studio effort that President Gore was right. This “jumping the shark, carp and gar” moment in their career is proof positive that the once red-hot group is now slowly simmering in a tepid bath of musical mediocrity.

Yes, it’s fine for the Georgia Bulldogs to play “old-man football,” but this album sounds like “old-man rock” with it’s predictable riffs and tired sexual innuendos. Even worse, Music from Another Dimension features a whopping half-dozen power ballads that would even make the guys in Night Ranger wince.

Of course, when you enlist the services of pop tunesmith Diane Warren (writer of hits for the likes of Mariah Carey, Trisha Yearwood, and Kenny G) and other middle-of-the-road composers instead of penning most of your material something must be wrong … and it is.

There’s even a duet with Carrie Underwood, Can’t Stop Loving You, that would cause any of the past and present judges on American Midol to duck and cover. It would probably take a Diane Sawyer Election Night buzz to get off on this dire and dreck drivel.

Sure, Aerosmith is still fine in concert, and this new material will provide much-needed bathroom breaks for fans young and old. However, many of the songs on Steven Tyler, Joe Perry and company’s latest effort remind me of their 1998 hit from the film Armageddon, another Diane Warren number, I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing.

Why? Because in this case, you do. It’s a swing and a miss. Music from Another Dimension is not a place you want to visit.

Anyone up for some fast-paced CD Frisbee?

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