SC 1st lady says she refused when Sanford asked to visit mistress

Friday, June 26, 2009 9:10 PM
Last updated 9:53 PM
  • Follow Latest News

SULLIVANS ISLAND, S.C. — South Carolina first lady Jenny Sanford sat in her oceanfront living room earlier today, recalling how her husband repeatedly asked permission to visit his lover in the months after she discovered his affair.

Back | Next
Jenny Sanford interviewed in Sullivans Island  AP
AP
Jenny Sanford interviewed in Sullivans Island

"I said absolutely not. It's one thing to forgive adultery; it's another thing to condone it," Jenny Sanford told The Associated Press during a 20-minute interview at the coastal home where she sought refuge with their four sons. They were her first extended comments on the affair.

She said that when her husband, Gov. Mark Sanford, inexplicably disappeared last week, she hoped he was hiking on the Appalachian Trail, as his staff told those who inquired about his absence. That he had dared to go to Argentina to see the other woman left her stunned.

"He was told in no uncertain terms not to see her," she said in a strong, steady voice. "I was hoping he was on the Appalachian Trail. But I was not worried about his safety. I was hoping he was doing some real soul searching somewhere and devastated to find out it was Argentina. It's tragic."

The Sanfords had separated about two weeks ago. She said her husband told the family that he wanted some time away to work on writing a book and clear his head. The first lady said, "I had every hope he was not going to see her."

"You would think that a father who didn't have contact with his children, if he wanted those children, he would toe the line a little bit," she said.

Sanford, who is staying at the official residence in Columbia, returned Wednesday to end days of speculation on his whereabouts, publicly confess his cheating and emotionally apologize.

Jenny Sanford, a Georgetown-educated, former Wall Street vice president, did not stand next to her husband Wednesday during his pained public confession.

Sanford said she discovered her husband's affair early this year after coming across a copy of a letter to the mistress in one of his files in the official governor's mansion. He had asked her to find some financial information, she said, not an unusual request considering her heavy involvement in his career.

She would not comment on what was in the letter except to say "enough to figure out an affair was going on."

She felt "shocked and obviously deeply hurt. I didn't think he had it in him," she said. "It's hard to find out your husband is not who you thought he was."

The first lady said she confronted her husband immediately, and he agreed to end the affair. She said she wasn't sure Friday whether he had done so.

"I guess that's what we will have to see. I believe he has," she said. "But he was down there for five days. I saw him yesterday and he is not staying here. We'll just see what kind of spirit of reconciliation he has himself."

The governor declined to discuss details of the letter and how he handled it with his wife.

"This goes into the personal zone," Sanford said today. "I'd simply say that Jenny has been absolutely magnanimous and gracious as a wonderful Christian woman in this process."

Jenny Sanford cried at the end of the interview, and said the couple have been to counseling.

"When I found out in January, we both indicated a willingness to continue working on the marriage, but there's not room for three people in a marriage," she said. "I've done everything in my power possibly to keep him from going to see her and to really make sure she was off the table, including asking him to leave."

About an hour after Jenny Sanford talked of her pain and feelings of betrayal, her husband brushed aside any suggestion he might immediately resign, citing the Bible and the story of King David — who continued to lead after sleeping with another man's wife, Bathsheba, having the husband slain, then marrying the widow.

"What I find interesting is the story of David, and the way in which he fell mightily — fell in very, very significant ways, but then picked up the pieces and built from there," Sanford told members of his cabinet in a session called so he could apologize to them in person and tell them the business of government must continue.

Meanwhile, questions grew about a trip to Argentina he took last summer. While Sanford has agreed to reimburse the state for part of a more-than $8,000 tab that enabled him to see the mistress, state officials indicated they never intended a South American economic development trip to hold meetings in Argentina. That was only done at the governor's behest, said Kara Borie, a spokeswoman for the state Commerce Department.

Sanford spokesman Joel Sawyer said he did not immediately know whether Sanford's request for business meetings would have allowed him to have taxpayers cover the entire Argentina visit.

Some Republican leaders have called for Sanford to resign and some lawmakers and watchdog groups are pressing for investigations into whether he improperly used state money.

For Jenny Sanford, the focus is the couple's four sons. During her interview, she wept as she displayed the stellar report cards earned by her eldest two sons at their exclusive private school in Columbia.

On the coffee table was a collection of devotional books, including a book of commentary on the Bible's Book of Job, the story of a man whose faith God tests to the extreme.

"Parenting is the most important job there is and what Mark has done has added a serious weight to that job,"

Comments (4) Add comment
ADVISORY: Users are solely responsible for opinions they post here and for following agreed-upon rules of civility. Posts and comments do not reflect the views of this site. Posts and comments are automatically checked for inappropriate language, but readers might find some comments offensive or inaccurate. If you believe a comment violates our rules, click the "Flag as offensive" link below the comment.
RedQuinoa
2801
Points
RedQuinoa 06/26/09 - 08:19 pm
0
0
Sanford has some gall to

Sanford has some gall to compare himself to King David. The Bible says that David was "a man after God's own heart". Well, Sanford is a man after something, but clearly, it isn't "God's own heart". Shame just doesn't seem to be part of his make-up.

ldsmith1
1
Points
ldsmith1 06/26/09 - 10:09 pm
0
0
King David was not thinking

King David was not thinking of "God's own heart" when he saw Bathsheba either. However, when David came to his senses, he admitted his wrongdoing and repented. Time will tell if the comparison is a good one.

soldout
1280
Points
soldout 06/26/09 - 10:18 pm
0
0
It would be hard for the

It would be hard for the governor to do this if he is a Spirit filled Christian. I dont believe Spirit filled Chirstians have many affairs. If God is talking to you all day long how do you shut Him up when you go into an affair. In a study done a few years ago it was found that couples that pray together only have a divorce 1 in 1400 marriages. All other studies involve people who say they are a Christian. I don't believe many of them are Christians any more than staying in a garage once a week would make me a car. If a Christian guards his eyes and ears as the Word says they will seldom if ever watch TV and that will solve many problems and temptations. You have to starve out the devil; he only has 24 hours a day to tempt you. Fill those hours with good things that are pure and you starve him out. The Word says if you are His child you hear His voice and you obey him. If you don't hear and don't obey what does that mean...............?

Craig Spinks
817
Points
Craig Spinks 06/27/09 - 12:16 am
0
0
If Jenny doesn't trust him,

If Jenny doesn't trust him, why should other South Carolinians?

Back to Top

Top headlines

Monitor reports worsening Vogtle delays

Scheduling delays for two nuclear reactors under construction at Plant Vogtle are worsening, according to a report from a state-hired construction monitor.
Search Augusta jobs