-- Hosea Ballou
I almost skipped Christmas cards this year and substituted e-mails. It would be simpler. It would be quicker. And it sure would be cheaper.
I even had a couple of clever holiday messages all planned out. But then I found an e-mail Christmas card in my inbox the other day, and I suddenly felt cheated.
"They didn't even think I was worth a postage stamp," I thought to myself.
Then I remembered I had been thinking of doing the same thing.
"Maybe someday," I thought. "But not this year."
I reach for the envelopes thinking, "Not licked yet."
CHRISTMAS SONGS: Wes Beaird writes, "My father-in-law, Billy Rodgers , passed away last month. One of our favorite tunes was Run, Run Rudolph by Chuck Berry . That little tune used to put a smile on his face every time!"
Ed Moody says, "O Holy Night is the spirit of Christmas to me. Any version will do, but singers that can hit those special high notes at the end make it bone chillingly good."
Tom Parker agrees. Now living in Texas, he writes: "O Holy Night , which actually tells the story of redemption. On a secular note, I enjoy the song All I Want For Christmas Is You sung by a young lady whose name I can't remember. Karen Carpenter 's song Merry Christmas, Darling is one of my favorites too."
NEW YEAR'S PLUNGE: Karl Keene from the Parrotheads of the Savannah River says his group plans on jumping into a cold swimming pool once again on New Year's Day. He said that, like last year, they will collect coats for Salvation Army in connection with the event.
TODAY'S JOKE: The Rev. Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and, realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So he told the associate pastor he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day.
Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about 40 miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!
At about this time, St. Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"
The Lord sighed, "No, I guess not."
Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight toward the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. IT WAS A 420-YARD HOLE IN ONE!
St. Peter was astonished. He asked the Lord, "Why did you let him do that?"
The Lord replied, "Who's he going to tell?"
Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or firstname.lastname@example.org.