We already can give him a forecast -- hot and bothered, with scattered showers of resentment from developing nations.
This should tell you everything you need to know about the global summit: Dictatorial Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez not only was allowed to speak, but he was roundly applauded as he took potshots at capitalism and declared that socialism is "the only way to save the planet."
But apparently smaller countries don't have a problem with taking capitalist countries' money. Ahead of Obama's arrival at the conference, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton told reporters that America would be willing to join a $100 billion global aid fund to help developing nations deal with climate change.
And that's the lowball figure. The original proposal had countries -- including pollution-belching China -- asking us for upward of $350 billion.
You think our federal government is out of control? We've got trillions of dollars in debt, and Mrs. Clinton is offering billions to foreign governments to -- who knows, help them get "green," perhaps?
One, she has no authority to promise that. Two, where does it say we owe developing nations anything?
Three, what promises can Mrs. Clinton make that those billions of our money will go toward climate change? It's abundantly clear that our government can't even track stimulus money spent here!
And what makes anyone think a despotic government is going to say, "Great -- let's get those green jobs going and make Al Gore proud!"?
All this clearly proves that the climate conference attendees are an anti-United States, anti-capitalism crowd. They certainly won't be grateful for our billions -- they think we owe it to them!
Where's George W. Bush to blame when you need him?
Even dulcet, conciliatory tones from Obama aren't likely to cool the volcanic anger of other countries -- though it's darkly comical to fathom why world leaders are pestering the United States to cleave to the Kyoto Protocol, while China gets a pass as it remains the world's top gross emitter of carbon dioxide.
It's enough to make you choke.