Man gets up early. Man loads gun. Man goes into woods. Man sees deer with big antlers. Man kills deer. Man throws deer into Chevy. Man hangs deer head on wall. Deer head gathers dust.
The hunt's over for man.
Described in the preceding paragraph we have the account of many a man. We put a lot of energy into hunting and killing a deer, then hang the trophy on the wall, a memory of a once-great adventure, occasionally given notice between channel surfing and home-improvement projects.
Sadly, this is a parallel of the condition of many marriages. Familiarity gives way to neglect. Unless romance and preference are cultivated diligently, the woman that was once the sun rising in your morning becomes no more than a trophy on the wall, ignored and collecting dust. The hunt of love has ended; the chase of romance is over.
Are you married? When is the last time you chased your spouse? Told her she was beautiful? Showed him respect and admiration? When has a vase of fresh flowers filled your kitchen with fragrance?
Too grown up for that, are you?
Did these feelings and practices die after the first year or two, crushed by the ever-pressing business of life, sentenced to death by the selfishness lurking in your heart?
Most romances begin with infatuation, a flurry of feelings and demonstrations of youthful love. But eventually, proximity to another person introduces us to their drama. Drama then calls us to a choice: Will this relationship be about me being served, or me serving?
The answer to this question reveals what kind of love is in your heart: Is it love that only loves when you receive reward from giving it, or love that loves independent of the pleasure attached to it?
David Brainerd describes this dichotomy accurately. "Love is a pleasing passion, it affords pleasure to the mind where it is; but yet, genuine love is not, nor can be placed, upon any object with that design of pleasure itself."
Having said that, there is a sweet reward for loving unselfishly. I can attest after 14 years of committed marriage that the fires of romance, fueled by weathering many storms in one another's arms, have never burned brighter.
May flowers not wait until Valentine's Day. May special treatment not wait until her birthday. May my love for my wife always be less of a memory and more of a chase.
The Rev. Jeff Miller is pastor of Vineyard Community Church in Augusta.
Comments
Dose he await a call from her? However, she ponders what if he likes to stay where he is and enjoys his football game on Saturday? She just gazes the cell phone and awaits his phone call...Dose she await a call from him? However, he opnders what if she likes to spend her quality time with her kid only? He just frowns his face...Is he feeling being chased or chasing?
Is she feeling being chased or chasing?
Great editorial column, Rev. Miller. Sounds like you love your wife like Christ loves His church. Thanks for the helpful reminder of how we should run from our selfish ways and chase after real love. God bless you!
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