Trick-or-treaters prove neighborhood evolution

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas.

-- Paula Poundstone

Someone should do a study on how you can determine the relative age of a neighborhood by the number of children who come to your door trick-or-treating each year.

My parents have lived in the same house for about 40 years. At first, they were beset each Halloween by waves of small goblins. As the neighborhood matured, so did the pool of Oct. 31 visitors, until one night a few years ago no one came.

Now the crowds are making a return.

A logical conclusion?

Families move in. Children grow up. Parents move out. New families move in. The cycle begins again.

In fact, I think my parents have been through it three times.

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A REQUEST: Jim Steed, of Grovetown, asks our help.

He writes: "My family has operated a dairy farm in Columbia County since 1946. I am now the third generation still doing so at the original location. As a boy, our cows used to walk under Wrightsboro Road through a tunnel when turned out to pasture after milking. At the time, seeing those "crazy people" stopping their cars and taking pictures of them crossing under seemed foolish. I am now trying to find old pictures of the farm to display when we hopefully start a creamery here and have yet to find any of 'the crossing.' I would be forever grateful to some of those 'crazy people' for copies of those or any pictures of our farm."

You can contact Jim at Steed's Dairy Farm, 655 Shoffitt Road, Grovetown, GA 30813.

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TODAY'S LESSON: Everett Fernandez says you're a teacher if ...

- You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.

- You believe "shallow gene pool" should have its own box in the report card.

- When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know to correct their behavior.

- You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

- You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.

- Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question "Why is this kid like this?"

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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: One of life's great mysteries is how the boy who wasn't good enough for your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchild in the world.

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TODAY'S JOKE: John Martone, of Aiken, sends this one.

There were two butcher shops in town, Schultzes and Meyers. They were opposite each other on the same street. One day Schultzes was having a special sale on chopped meat at $1.49 a pound, and it attracted a lot of shoppers.

Meyers, however, was selling his chopped meat at $1.99 a pound. A woman angrily came into Meyers' shop and asked, "How come you're selling chopped meat at $1.99 a pound when Schultzes is selling his chopped meat at $1.49 a pound?"

Meyers answered back, "That's my price. If you don't like it, go buy your chopped meat at Schultzes!"

"I tried to," the woman said, "but he's all sold out!"

"Well, lady," Meyers said curtly, "if I was all sold out of chopped meat, I'd sell it to you for $1 a pound!"

Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bill.kirby@augustachronicle.com.