If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.

-- Woodrow Wilson

I'm in the doghouse. Sort of.

You see I was one of the judges Sunday at the CSRA Humane Society's annual Pet-A-Fair.

My expertise was vital in judging the Halloween costumes worn by the dog and cat companions of the 200 or so people gathered at the Julian Smith Casino.

A good time was had by all, and I didn't think a thing of it until I went home.

That's when I walked in and my little dog caught the scents of 60-plus contestants on my shoes and pants.

It was a lipstick-on-the-collar moment.

He suspects something, and his feelings appear to be hurt.

I tried to explain, but I don't think he's buying it.

I'll just have to take him next year.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.

MAIL CALL: Debbie and Corky Holloway , of Evans, "are enjoying our annual fall vacation ... colorful leaves and great food, shopping, sightseeing in Cherokee, NC and Gatlinburg."

Also in Gatlinburg are Sylvia and Scott Gay , of Waynesboro. Scott writes: "Enjoying the color change of the leaves. They are as pretty this year as I can remember. They still have a hint of green, but the red and yellow colors are very bright. I believe that when a hint of green is still present, it makes the colors look fresher."

SPEAKING OF TRAVEL: Look for gas prices to keep heading up. AAA experts sent out a notice this weekend that the prices -- while cheaper than this time last year -- are hitting 2009 highs and might go higher than experts have been predicting.

Just in time for Thanksgiving travels, no doubt.

TODAY'S JOKE: Johnny Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him.

"What's the story this time, Jones?" he asked sarcastically. "Let's hear a good excuse for a change."

Jones sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning, boss. The wife decided to drive me to the train station. She got ready in 10 minutes, but then the drawbridge got stuck. Rather than let you down, I swam across the river. Look, my suit is still damp. Then I ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr. Thompson's helicopter, landed on top of Radio City Music Hall, and was carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes."

"You'll have to do better than that, Jones," said the boss, obviously disappointed. "No woman can get ready in 10 minutes."

Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bill.kirby@augustachronicle.com.