Trick is keeping Halloween candy hidden

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.

-- Ernestine Ulmer

I like to save money. I saw Halloween candy was on sale at the grocery.

"Good," I thought. "I'll buy some now for the big weekend. Cross it off my to-do list."

Well, you know what happened.

The discounted bags that I partially hid on the top of the refrigerator have mysteriously and inexplicably been emptied.

Five days. Gone.

Nothing but big empty candy bags.

How did that happen? Beats me.

Now I have to go back to the grocery to buy more Halloween candy. It's still on sale.

This time I'll hide it better.

That should work, shouldn't it?

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STILL TRAVELING: Much thanks to Ralph and Dorothea Norman, of Hephzibah, who sent a big packet of post cards from a 35th anniversary celebration on a Carnival cruise. Puerto Rico, Barbados, Antigua, St. Thomas, St. Lucia and more ...

Greg Brooks sends a post card from his Pacific travels -- this time from Australia.

Joseph Fournier and Neal and Genny Lake send some beautiful post cards from the Greek Isles and Pisa in Italy.

The North Augusta Group: Butch and Mary Gay, Carolyn Thompson, Billy and Frances Stevens and Bob and Sylvia Stevens are '' ... at a shag thing having a ball. Keep on dancing!"

And Freddie and Sue Rivers send a card from New Hampshire showing the fall colors, which they call "absolutely fantastic."

"Temp last night was 24 degrees -- on ski slope -- 18 degrees mid-morning with snow on the ground."

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LEGAL ADVICE: Stay informed on the latest in legislation.

- The Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

- Brown's Law of Physical Appearance: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

- Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

- Doctors' Law: If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor. By the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

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TODAY'S JOKE: A fellow walked into a blacksmith shop and picked up a horseshoe, not realizing that it had just come from the forge. He immediately dropped it and jammed his hand into his pocket, trying to act as if nothing had happened.

The blacksmith noticed and asked with a grin, "Kind of hot, wasn't it?"

"Nope," the fellow answered through clenched teeth, "it just doesn't take me long to look at a horseshoe."

Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bill.kirby@augustachronicle.com.