Going 'green' just takes a little spray paint, and a sense of humor

Despite the gardener's best intentions, Nature will improvise.

-- Michael P. Garafalo

I remember many laughed at me this summer when I solved my front lawn gardening problem by using green spray-paint to brighten up a dead, brown plant.

Well, Sue Montgomery apparently followed my suggestions and met with success.

She writes: "I have planted a shrub in the same spot three times and all died. Then I read the article about painting the dead bush green -- so I bought some and painted it. My neighbor had adorned it with flowers."

She even sent in a photo, and it looks very nice -- just like my own boxwood hedge, which remains a colorful green even today.

MOM LIST: Everett Fernandez shares these sure signs that you're a mother.

- Your feet stick to grape jelly on the kitchen floor -- and you don't care.

- You can't find your cordless phone, so you ask a friend to call you, and you run around the house madly, following the sound until you locate the phone downstairs in the laundry basket.

- You're so desperate for adult conversation that you spill your guts to the telemarketer who calls and HE hangs up on YOU.

- You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.

- You hide in the bathroom to be alone.

- Your kid throws up, and you catch it.

- You get up at 5:30 a.m. and you have no time to eat, sleep, drink or go to the bathroom, and yet ... you still managed to gain 10 pounds.

REMEMBERING FURMAN: Former Chronicle colleague Clyde Wells responded to my Sunday remarks about sportswriting legend Furman Bisher , with a story of his own.

He writes: "One of the genuinely nice people in our business who was very encouraging to me when I was trying to break into the business 40 years ago. I'm reminded of a piece he included in a column some years ago that I found especially amusing.

"He wrote that he went over to Scotland a week early to cover the British Open. He rented a car and toured the back roads of Scotland. He stopped at a small hostelry one evening and signed in.

" 'Oh,' the innkeeper said, 'I see you are from Atlanta, Ga., in America.'

"Bisher replied proudly that indeed he was from the great city of Atlanta.

But the innkeeper continued, 'Atlanta ... hmm ... I'm not familiar with Atlanta. Is it near Augusta?'

"You could feel Bisher's good natured chagrin as most proud Atlantans feel they reside at the center of the universe," Clyde wrote.

FALL TRAVELS: It's not Scotland, but Pat and Wayne Fuller , of North Augusta, send a post card from Daytona Beach, where they report: "Niagara Falls was just a little too cool. So we decided to head south. Weather here has been nice."

TODAY'S JOKE: A husband and his wife were sitting in the living room, when he turned to her and said quite seriously, "I've been thinking. I just want you to know I never want to live in a vegetative state dependent on some machine. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

His wife gets up and unplugs the TV.

Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bill.kirby@augustachronicle.com.