The autocrat of Russia possesses more power than any other man in the earth; but he cannot stop a sneeze.

-- Mark Twain

With flu worries spreading across the nation, it's no wonder that we are being advised on proper sneezing techniques.

And considering the somewhat polarizing politics prevalent today, it should come as no surprise there are differences on the issue.

McClatchy News Service says U.S. Health Secretary Kathleen Sebelius advised a reporter at a news conference not to sneeze into his hand, but into his arm.

This is called the "Dracula sneeze," by the way.

Try it and you'll see you mimic the famous movie vampire's signature gesture.

Conservative radio commentator Rush Limbaugh , however, took umbrage, suggesting the government had become so pervasive, it was now telling us how to cough, and when it did, it made us look like country hicks.

Some think Mr. Limbaugh might have been kidding.

But for the record, health professionals tend to side with Ms. Sebelius, although sneezing into a pocket tissue or handkerchief and then washing your hands is recommended.

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POLITICAL POWER: Ms. Sebelius, by the way, is not only the former governor of Kansas, but the daughter of former Ohio Gov. John Gilligan , a chief executive for whom I once authored a press release.

Here's how.

In college, I had a brief internship with the Department of Natural Resources, and Mr. Gilligan was supposed to make some remarks of local interest about the environment. I was assigned to craft this media statement.

"How do I know what the governor of Ohio will say about nature?" I asked the grizzled state bureaucrat who bestowed this charge to me. "Do I call him up and interview him? Do I read his old speeches?"

The graying grump looked up from his sports page, stubbed out his cigarette and said, "You just make up the quote.

If it sounds OK, we send it to his PR guy, and if he thinks that's something his boss would say, that's what they use."

Until that moment, I had actually thought that politicians wrote their own stuff.

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BASEBALL TIME: Meanwhile, athletes still achieve on their own, and now is the best time of the year for baseball fans. Every game matters. Anything can happen in a short series. And, for many of us, we don't have a team among the playoff finalists, so we can sit back and just enjoy good games.

Needless to say, I won't be going to bed early for much of this month.

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HEALTH HINTS: Tips your company has changed health care plans.

- The only item listed under Preventive Care Coverage is "an apple a day."

- "The patient is responsible for 200 percent of out-of-network charges" is not a typographical error.

- The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudge-sicles.

- The only expense covered 100 percent is "embalming."

- Your prescription refill comes in different colors with little M's on them.

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TODAY'S RIDDLE: One day Sandy celebrated her birthday. Two days later her older twin brother, Andy, celebrated his birthday. How? (Answer Tuesday.)

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TODAY'S JOKE: A rural preacher was completing a rather lengthy temperance sermon. With great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river!"

With even greater emphasis he added, "If I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river!"

And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river!"

Sermon complete, he sat down.

Then the song leader stood and asked whether there were any requests for a final hymn.

From in back a weary voice said, "Shall We Gather at the River."