Augusta Commissioner Betty Beard can't believe the FBI is investigating her for asking a developer to write a check for $20,000 to pay for a gastric bypass that probably saved the life of a city employee.

"What kind of case is that for the FBI to be doing?" she asked.

Mrs. Beard said she, other commissioners and the community are convinced the brouhaha over what we call "Operation Bypass" is a ploy "to cover up the (David) Fry bribery case."

Meanwhile, distrust between black and white commissioners seems to be at an all-time high.

Mrs. Beard said she went onto the commission as a good person trying to do good things for the city, and to now be talked about as though she were "nothing" really gets to her.

"I feel I'm the most honest person," she said. "And all of the sudden to be considered the most unethical is a bit much. It's unbelievable. I haven't taken anything or stolen anything, and here I am."

As for her earlier statements that she took a bribe and should go to jail, she said she was being facetious and never thought anyone would think she was serious.

BIP BAM, THANK YOU MA'AM: Next week's Augusta Commission meeting could be the shortest ever.

All 33 items to be considered are on the consent agenda, which means they will all be voted on together, with little, if any, discussion.

If the full board then dismisses Lori Davis and Butch Palmer as quickly as the public safety committee did last week when they asked to be allowed to form a task force to work on a nuisance property ordinance, the meeting could take less time than the prayer and the Pledge of Allegiance.

When Ms. Davis and Mr. Palmer faced the committee last week, Commissioner Calvin Holland said their request would be referred to the city's legal department because there might be legalities involved.

And another thing, why was Mr. Palmer shushed when he said he was a candidate for Commission District 1? Is it illegal for politicking to go on in commission meetings? If so, they should all go straight to jail without passing Go.

HERE'S YOUR SIGN: When Fire Chief Howard "Bubba" Willis asked the public safety committee to approve an updated Local Emergency Operation Plan for the city last week, Mr. Holland and Commissioner J.R. Hatney said they would like to see evacuation signs in Augusta like those coming out of Savannah. Mr. Willis seemed a little puzzled by the request but politely said he'd look into the matter and report back.

Now, if you don't know to head for high ground if the Thurmond Lake dam bursts or to go west if a hurricane from the Atlantic is blowing toward you, a sign is not likely to help you. Besides, if a plant exploded and a cloud of gas was drifting around, evacuation signs might send folks rushing right into it.

ANOTHER FINE MESS WE WERE GOTTEN INTO: The city has settled a discrimination lawsuit with former public works director Teresa Smith for $125,000. Commissioners have not voted on the settlement in public, and when asked about it, they say they don't have to because it includes a nondisclosure clause. Furthermore, they say they have settled other suits against the city without public votes.

We, however, do not subscribe to their legal theory and wrote a freedom of information letter, asking to see documents the city, legal counsel or the insurance company have pertaining to the settlement of the case. The city's legal department responded in writing, saying the city doesn't have any such documents and doesn't have to come up with any. Besides, city staff attorney Kenneth Bray added, such information is excluded under the attorney-client privilege.

Word is, Mrs. Smith's lawyer got the case moved to Statesboro, Ga., and city officials didn't want to pay expenses of folks that would have to testify. But I think there's another reason. Both former city Administrator George Kolb and current Administrator Fred Russell knew Mrs. Smith was less than a stellar employee because of complaints by her staff and developers who said they found it impossible to work with her, but her annual reviews did not reflect that.

In the administrators' defense, remember they do not have hiring or firing power and work at the will of commissioners. Mrs. Smith, who is black, had the support of five black commissioners and, for a long time, white commissioner Andy Cheek . So why would Mr. Kolb or Mr. Russell want to alienate six commissioners with the power to fire them by criticizing Mrs. Smith? Neither administrator could fire or demote her, no matter what she did or didn't do. But six votes could fire the administrators in a heartbeat.

That's my theory anyway, and I'm sticking to it.

SURPRISE FROM SURPRISE: Mr. Kolb will become former Administrator Randy Oliver's interim deputy city manager in Surprise, Ariz., with an annual salary of $141,000.

OUT OF THE JOINT: Remember Dwayne who got sent to jail a week ago to smoke things over after testing positive for marijuana? Well, he was released Thursday. He said jail was "rough."

He said he knew he was going to get caught, but his criminal thinking had him thinking he could get away with it.

"You know, just do a little bit," he said. "But you can't. You can't get away with just doing a little bit. Once I did a little bit, my addiction took over, and I'd done smoked a whole joint."

Superior Court Judge Sheryl Jolly presented certificates to about a dozen people who were moving from the first phase of the program to the second phase.

"You're moving up from boot camp in the drug program," she said before recessing the court to have a little celebration.

Joe Thompson , a probation officer, said that was the first time in his 20 years with the Augusta Probation Office he'd ever seen a judge serving somebody cake.

DANCING WITH THE STARS: Ordinarily, I don't go out past 9 p.m. unless some relative is on a deathbed, but I would have made an exception to see local celebrities Dancing with the Stars at Fort Gordon to raise money for the Zeta Xi Omega chapter of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority. If you didn't see the video of the likes of Sen. Ed Tarver and his wife, Beverly , on The Chronicle's Web site, do yourself a favor and check it out.

The senator claims to not be a dancer and said it was a traumatic experience, one he will never do again.

"I still don't know why I ended up on that dance floor," he said. "Obviously, the judges were easily bribed (no relation to the TEE center)."  

George Bailey , the Richmond County school system's athletic director, and his wife, Janice , won first place with a perfect score of 30 for dancing to Bad Boy (Having a Party) by Luther Vandross and Stanky Legg by GS Boyz.

Other dancers, their scores and music were:

- The Tarvers, Don't Know Why by Norah Jones

- Dr. Ronald Brown and his wife, Mary , 27, Having A Party by Sam Cooke

- Ellis Johnson and his wife, Ann , 29, Piano Concerto No. 1 by Tchaikovsky

- Rep. Wayne Howard and his wife, Cassandra , 29, Love That Girl by Raphael Saadiq

- Rep. Hardie Davis and his wife, Evett , 29, a compilation of old school hip hop

- Dr. Charles Larke and his former wife, Edith , 26, I Can't Get Next To You by The Temptations

- Dr. Wayne Frazier and his wife, Rep. Gloria Frazier , 26, Turn on Your Love Light by Bobby "Blue" Bland.  

- Dr. Willie Mazyck and his wife, Millicent , 28, Hole in the Wall by Mel Waiters

- Dr. Dana Bedden and his wife, Ava , 26, Because of You by Ne-Yo

- Dr. Charles Lamback and his wife, Judy , 29, Got to Give It Up by Marvin Gaye

BRIGHT, BRILLIANT AND BEAUTIFUL. The sudden death of Janice Huffman was so shocking, it didn't register when I heard about it. Mrs. Huffman worked for the Richmond County Marshal's Office in the security area at the main entrance of the Municipal Building. I had not known her that long, but we clicked the first time she had me empty my purse because I had a little pair of scissors in it.

Our deepest sympathies go out to her husband, Chester , and to her other family members.

"Across death's river our friends have gone,

And we are following one by one ..."