Postcards prove many know how to avoid WORK

Yes, time flies. And where did it leave you? Old too soon ... smart too late.

-- Mike Tyson

First, an update.

Thanks to Myrtle Tiller, Judy Gregory, and many others for the kind concern about my little dog. He got the "lamp shade" off his head Thursday morning. I think the photos you e-mailed of your own small companion animals helped his healing process.

LATE TRAVELS: According to your August postcards, Anthony and Susan Lamb, of Gibson, Ga., were in Jackson Hole, Wyo.

Freddie Flynt and Dianne Burnside and Pat and Charlie Moye enjoyed the Chautauqua in New York. Pat and Charlie apparently squeezed in a trip to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, too.

Evelyn Casey is in Lapland, and Doris and Marty Charnock were on the Georgia coast.

Pat and Wayne Fuller, of North Augusta, were at Harrah's casino and racetrack in Pennsylvania. John and Janie Parker enjoyed their train ride in Colorado, and shared three postcards describing it.

Helen and Robert Symns sent greetings from Minnesota and the Land of the Jolly Green Giants. Barbara Sanford found Hawaii beautiful.

Shirley and Jay were in Memphis, Tenn., and saw Graceland. Rafael Delgado went fishing in Canada.

Finally, the crew at Georgia Pacific in Warrenton enjoyed a great day of white water rafting on the Chattooga River. Along for the ride were John High, Kelvin Walker, Danny Deen, Bobo Massey and Jeff Baker.

LABOR DAY ALERT! Bill Wood, of Hephzibah, warns us the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever -- DO NOT TOUCH IT!!! This virus will wipe out your private life entirely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.

Take two good friends to the nearest liquor store and purchase one or both of the antidotes -- Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

TODAY'S JOKE: Jeff Baker shared this one.

A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store, when an older man approached him.

"Son," the man said, "can you tell me where the post office is?"

"Sure," the boy replied, "Just go straight down this street a couple of blocks and turn to your right."

The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "By the way, I'm the new pastor in town. I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday and I'll show you how to get to heaven."

"Really?" the little boy said. "You couldn't even find the post office."

Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bill.kirby@augustachronicle.com.