-- Edgard Varese
When it comes to newspaper reporters and doctors, the old journalism complaint is: "They bury their mistakes, we publish ours."
Well, that's sort of true, but not always. Someone passed along a list of medical chart comments. Here are some of them.
- "While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home."
- "I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy."
- "The lab test indicated abnormal lover function."
- "Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid."
- "The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed."
- "Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation."
- "She is numb from her toes down."
- "Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant."
MORE MAIL: We're really close to getting vacation postcards from all 50 states. All we need is Indiana. That's because Carol Gaines sent our first card from Nebraska. She writes: "I came to see my 7-year-old granddaughter in a dance recital and enjoyed an Omaha steak!"
Dixie and Fred Holt and Marion and Wanda Mundy, from Belridge Baptist Church, were kind to send a series of postcards from their travels. They went through Georgia, Tennessee, Kentucky, Illinois, Missouri, Kansas, Nebraska, Iowa and South Dakota.
On the Fourth of July, they sent a card from the Big Horn Mountain Range, where they said: "There was snow on the mountaintops. These mountains are beautiful. Only God cold make such a beautiful creation."
TODAY'S JOKE: Another one shared by Billy Cooper , the Sage of North Augusta:
An elderly couple were celebrating their 60th anniversary. They married as childhood sweethearts and moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.
Holding hands they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered and found the old desk they'd shared, where Andy had carved "I love you, Sally."
On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money -- $50,000.
Andy said, "We've got to give it back."
Sally said, "Finders keepers."
She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic. The next day, two FBI men were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money and knocked on the door.
"Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?"
Sally said, "No."
Andy said, "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic."
Sally said, "Don't believe him; he's getting senile."
The agents turn to Andy and began to question him. One says: "Tell us the story from the beginning."
Andy said, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday ..."
The first FBI guy turns to his partner and says, "We're outta here."
Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or email@example.com.