-- George Carlin
In less than 24 hours I will be racing through downtown Atlanta for the July Fourth Peachtree Road Race -- 10 kilometers of July heat and 50,000 competitors.
This year I will be wearing a T-shirt promoting SafeHomes of Augusta.
The local agency serves 10 counties in Georgia, giving victims of domestic violence and their children services and shelter.
I'll be sure to run slowly so more people can read the shirt's message.
MAIL BAG: Your vacation reports ...
Scott and Sylvia Gay , of Waynesboro, are in Gatlinburg, Tenn., "celebrating our 50th anniversary. (P.S. We were here 50 years ago!)"
Regards to you both.
June Hattaway, of Augusta, is "having a great time in a beautiful state -- Hawaii."
Jimmy and Phyllis Hewett , of Martinez, Richard Hewett , of Augusta; Mark, Phyllis, Phillip and Brett Swain , of Evans, and Jordan Slagle , of Appling, are enjoying Myrtle Beach.
Lloyd and Lynn Creech , of North Augusta, are in Johnson City, Tenn., enjoying minor league baseball.
The Oligs send a card from the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, N.Y. They report: "Enjoyed looking up hometown great Ty Cobb and reliving some of Atlanta's successes. It's nice and cool, but has rained every day we've been in the Catskills. Wish (we) could bottle it up and send it home."
John and Linda Rox , of Evans, are on a safari in South Africa, Zambia and Botswana, "The scenery, the people and especially the wildlife are incredible."
Byron and Sue , of Evans, are in Austin, Minn.
Jackie is visiting relatives "all over Arkansas."
Troy and Lisa Wahlmeier , of Augusta, send a card from their honeymoon in Savannah. They write: "got married on the 27th. Got sunburned on the 29th."
Suzana Ashworth , of Grovetown, sends a card from Niagara Falls. ("Spectacular.")
We're only a few cards short of getting all 50 states. Indiana, Kansas, Iowa, Nebraska, Oklahoma and Washington, D.C., are on my list.
If you go, send me a postcard from your summer vacation. Just mail them to The Augusta Chronicle . P. O. Box 1928, Augusta, GA 30903-1928.
TODAY'S JOKE: A woman went to the emergency room, where she was seen by a young new doctor.
After about three minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant.
She burst out of the room and ran down the corridor screaming.
An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was; after listening to her story, he calmed her down and sat her in another room.
Then the doctor marched down the hallway to the first doctor's room.
"What the heck's wrong with you?" he demanded.
"This woman is 68 years old; she has two grown children and several grandchildren; and you told her she was pregnant?"
The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"
Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or email@example.com.