"I would never in my life have believed that Gov. Mark Sanford was capable of doing something interesting." -- Steven Colbert , The Colbert Report
"People were shocked because Republicans don't traditionally do well with Hispanic women." -- Conan O'Brien , The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien
"South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford disappeared for a few days and said he was out hiking. Then he said he was in South America. Today he says he was in Las Vegas and woke up hung over with a tiger and a baby." -- David Letterman , The Late Show with David Letterman
"He was busted getting off a flight from Argentina. You know where all this is headed ... He admitted to the affair in Argentina. Great -- now we're outsourcing mistresses." -- Craig Ferguson , The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
"The governor of South Carolina, Mark Sanford, disappeared without telling his staff or his wife where he went. Then he said he was hiking. Today, he showed up and held a press conference to announce that he went to Argentina to visit his mistress. This is the guy who some people thought might be a candidate for president. He won't, by the way." -- Jimmy Kimmel , Jimmy Kimmel Live!
"Mark Sanford, the governor of South Carolina, was missing for five days. He finally showed up and claimed he was just hiking in the Appalachian Mountains. Then today, he revealed he was not hiking in the mountains, he was in Argentina where he was having an extramarital affair. It all seems so strange until you realize who his mistress is: Carmen Sandiego." -- Jimmy Fallon , Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
"They need people to love them. They think they are -- and also, they're all nerds who could never get a girl to kiss them in high school. I mean, look at these guys! From Bill Clinton to this guy? They're not exactly a hunk of burning love here." -- Ann Coulter , on The Sean Hannity Show
-- Compiled from wire reports by Steven Uhles, staff writer