Columnist
It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.
-- George Washington
I went to Augusta State University on Saturday to watch all those smart kids from somewhere else compete in the National Science Olympiad.
I was amazed. People came here from as far away as Alaska to compete, which is impressive. Would you take your kids from here to Alaska for an event?
I was also a bit jealous because the best science project I ever turned in involved sawing a C battery in half.
I started out trying to show "How A C-Battery Worked," thinking that if I cut one open that would become apparent. But there's just a bunch of black waxy stuff inside.
I made up something about positive and negative charges and put it on poster board describing the mysteries of a C battery, with my dissected example glued beside it.
The teacher gave me C.
That night I asked my father what I should to improve my grade the next time. He looked up from his newspaper and said, "Try an A battery."
AND THEY'RE OFF: My wife is still furious that she missed Saturday's Preakness horse race because the cable TV aired a storm warning 50 miles away. It blacked out the screen at the moment the horses took off.
She's a big fan of girl horses -- such as this year's winner, Rachel Alexandra -- and she was born in Maryland, where they hold the Preakness.
According to the paper, the Comcast folks are blaming emergency management for making them do it.
Wonder why they didn't make the other cable TV companies interrupt programming?
POSTCARDS: This weekend we'll launch our annual summer postcard contest. April in Grovetown gets us ready with this card from Alabama.
She writes: "I came over to Anniston to go to the Chapter 62 WAC Vets meeting and picnic. Fun was had by all."
BLOG ALERT: Eighty-two years ago this week, the world was transfixed by Charles Lindbergh's trans-Atlantic flight. Augusta celebrated a different way -- 10,000 people lined Broad Street to watch a waitress walk on the wing of an airplane. Read all about it on my blog at augustachronicle.com.
BIRTHDAYS: The little dog at our house celebrated his fifth (35th) birthday Sunday by enjoying a fine selection of new stuffed toys, which he chewed the stuffing out of by nightfall.
TODAY'S JOKE: Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that its workers were flagrantly abusing their contract's sick-leave provisions.
One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, "This man," he announced, "called in sick yesterday!"
There, on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score.
A union negotiator broke the silence in the room.
"Wow," he said. "And just think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn't been sick!"
Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bill.kirby@augustachronicle.com.
