Concertmaster must 'let go'

After 19 seasons with the Augusta Symphony, concertmaster Ryan Kho faces his most difficult performance this evening.

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Jackie Ricciardi/Staff

Augusta Symphony concertmaster Ryan Kho will begin a new career as a middle school math teacher.

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Jackie Ricciardi/Staff

Ryan Kho

It's the one where he says goodbye.

Three years ago, Mr. Kho noticed a "funny feeling" in his left hand, a numbness when he played violin. Initially chalking it up to overuse, he took measures to rest and, hopefully, recuperate.

But problems persisted. After consulting several doctors, he was diagnosed with focal dystonia, a neurological disorder that strikes musicians. The disorder, thought to be caused by misfiring neurons, made it difficult for Mr. Kho to move the fingers on his left hand while playing violin.

"It's very task specific," he said. "It's only when I play violin. It only deals with that specific movement and nothing else, and it's because the brain has been trained repetitively to execute these specific motions."

Other musicians who have suffered with focal dystonia include pianist Leon Fleisher, guitarist Billy McLaughlin and former Atlanta symphony flutist Ernestine Whitman.

The chronic disorder is incurable. Symptoms can sometimes be treated with Botox injections. Mr. Kho went through the Botox treatment for about a year but quickly came to the conclusion that if he continued to play, it would not be at 100 percent. He began to plan for his departure from, and his life after, music.

"It's been very hard to let go," he said. "It has been hard for me to come to terms with. But when I get emotional, when I get upset and sad about it, I just look at the signs. They all point in this direction."

Soon, Mr. Kho will start his second career, teaching middle school math at Augusta Preparatory Day School. Although Mr. Kho, like many professional musicians, has a long history as an educator, he acknowledged that teaching violin to college students was a far cry from what he'll be doing at Augusta Prep.

"But I'm very excited about it," he said. "I think middle school, that's the best time to make a difference. That's when kids are at a fork in the road. I don't expect these kids to become mathematicians, but I'm looking forward to teaching them how to think."

He has agreed to serve on the Augusta Symphony's board. He said music isn't the sort of addiction that can be given up cold turkey.

"I've played violin for 39 years," he said. "Music is a part of my life and it always will be. It's my passion, my soul. And if I can't play, well, then I would like to be involved in another facet. This was the food for my soul and that's hard to walk away from. This will never not be a part of my life."

He said when he came to Augusta before the 1990 season, he believed it would be another stop in an itinerant musician's career. He said watching the symphony grow and thrive has been one of the great pleasures of his career. It's also the reason he knows it is time to step down.

"To be part of something that is growing, and to make a difference, has been wonderful," he said. "Making a difference has been so important to me. I've loved it. The thing is, when you love something like that, you have to know when to let it go."

Reach Steven Uhles at (706) 823-3626 or steven.uhles@augustachronicle.com.