Children's songs not the same these days

Bought a peanut, bought a peanut, bought a peanut just now; I just now bought a peanut, bought a peanut just now.

Cracked it open, cracked it open, cracked it open just now. I just now cracked it open, cracked it open just now.

Found salmonella, found salmonella, found salmonella just now. I just now found salmonella, found salmonella just now.

Ate it anyway, ate it anyway, ate it anyway just now. I just now ate it anyway, ate it anyway just now.

Got infected, got infected, got infected just now. I just now got infected, got infected just now.

Called the doctor, called the doctor, called the doctor just now. I just now called the doctor, called the doctor just now.

Said I wouldn't die, said I wouldn't die, said I wouldn't die just now. He just now said I wouldn't die, said I wouldn't die just now.

Here's my bill, here's my bill, here's my bill just now. He just now said here's my bill, here's my bill, just now.

Called a lawyer, called a lawyer, called a lawyer just now. I just now called a lawyer, called a lawyer just now.

Had a good case, had a good case, had a good case just now. We just now had a good case, had a good case just now.

Sued the company, sued the company, sued the company just now. I just now sued the company, sued the company just now.

Won a million, won a million, won a million just now. I just now won a million, won a million just now.

Company bankrupted, company bankrupted, company bankrupted just now. Just now the company bankrupted, the company bankrupted just now.

Got nothing, got nothing, got nothing just now. I just now got nothing, got nothing just now.

Here's my bill, here's my bill, here's my bill just now. Just now he said here's my bill, here's my bill, just now.

Now I have salmonella, all these bills but no money; now I have salmonella, all these bills but no money; now I have salmonella, all these bills but no money just now. I just now have salmonella, all these bills but no money; salmonella, all these bills but no money just now.

SPEAKING OF PEANUTS, the last thing I ever stole in my life of crime was a couple of my neighbor's peanut plants when I was a kid. My friend Edward and I raided his patch one day and ate a few of the green goobers, then, stupidly, left the plants on my front porch.

My mother found them, rendered swift justice, then ordered us to take the plants to Mr. McGahee and apologize. It was one of the worst things I have ever had to do, but, you know, I learned that day that the quickest way to avoid public shame was to not do the crime.

There's a lesson there, perhaps about stupid crooks, or maybe something more profound.

MOORE WORDS: Peanuts also make me think of Benjamin Franklin, because they are about the only thing the early American genius didn't tinker with (though his appearance does remind me of Mr. Peanut).

Ben, in turn, reminds me of The Franklin's Tale, from Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales . In the 14th and 15th centuries, a "franklin" was a substantial landowner who was free but was not born to nobility. The title comes from a word meaning "free," so a franklin was a freeholder.

Mmmm, Benjamin Freeholder sounds more like a Star Wars character than a Founding Father, don't you think?

Reach Glynn Moore at (706) 823-3419 or glynn.moore@augustachronicle.com.