I'm such a turnoff -- ask my family
By Bill Kirby| Columnist
Friday, March 27, 2009

The love of economy is the root of all virtue.

-- George Bernard Shaw

The current times have prompted some governments to act.

The Georgia Times-Union newspaper reports that all Camden County employees were asked to follow a checklist before going home on Friday afternoon, unplugging nonessential computers, surge protectors, lights, appliances and anything else that could use electricity.

Sounds like my house.

I'm always turning off things that cost money -- lights, ceiling fans, TVs.

They are on because someone else in my home seems to think a well-lighted house with multiple TV sets loudly broadcasting is a great addition to home security.

"What if the burglars like HBO?" I ask, but nobody hears me.

I think all the TV channel volumes went up several decibels last month when we all switched over to HDTV.

ENERGY SAVINGS: Many years ago a friend of mine -- a probate judge in suburban Atlanta -- had moved into his new office in a refurbished courthouse building.

After a week, he told me he had to wave his arms a lot.

"Why?" I asked.

He laughed when he explained it. The new offices, it seems, were set up with motion detectors that would turn off the lights in a room if no one moved about after about five minutes -- an energy saver.

He said he had a habit of sitting quietly while he read at his desk, and for some reason the motion detector didn't pick up his turning of the pages.

"Click." Off would go the lights, and the judge was left in the dark.

WEB WONDERING: On my Our Town blog, I try to answer your questions about history, and even ask one of my own: How did Gen. Pershing use 1,000 Merry Brothers bricklayers to win World War I?

TODAY'S JOKE: An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution: "Don't try these techniques at home."

"Why not?" asked a voice in the back of the audience.

"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the fridge, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'You're wasting too much time. Why don't you try carrying several things at once?' "

"Did it save time?" the guy in the audience asked.

"Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in 10."

Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bill.kirby@augustachronicle.com.

From the Friday, March 27, 2009 edition of the Augusta Chronicle
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