Macon residents, take this fight to the street

  • Follow Bill Kirby

If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

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-- Bernard Baruch

Next time you think the Augusta Commission is getting a little too high-handed, consider this.

Last week the Macon City Council voted 13-0 to outlaw playing sports in the street. If you do, you face a misdemeanor citation.

There was no specific instance that provoked this government intrusion into the recreational habits of youngsters, but every one seemed to agree it would be safer if they didn't.

Of course it's safer, but ...

Playing sports in the street (and I speak from experience here) is what we all did growing up.

Nobody got run over. Not even close.

If a car or truck (or for some of you, a tractor) came, you got out of the street, let it pass, then resumed play. Everybody knows that rule. It's like right field being "foul territory" if you don't have enough fielders.

Playing baseball (softball, rubber ball, kickball) in the street offers clean bounces on grounders and teaches you to hit back up the middle because your diamond is only as wide as the road.

Playing basketball in the street provides a clean bounce and a quick dribble. Dirt or gravel? Work on your passing.

I'd say the only thing that is dangerous to play in the street is football.

Two-handed-touch sometimes ends up being tackle, and tackle football in the street encourages both character and doctor visits.

So does old age, come to think of it.

Macon can legislate that next week.

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QUESTION OF THE DAY: Bill Wood , of Hephzibah, asks: "Was there a telethon that wiped out lumbago? Nobody complains of that anymore."

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EXPLAINING IT ALL: Seth Benson , of Millen, shares this, which probably qualifies him for U.S. treasury secretary in the new Cabinet.

"The less you know," he writes, "the more you make."

He offers the Salary Theorem, which states that engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and salespeople.

"This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:

1. Knowledge is Power.

2. Time is Money.

As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time.

Because Knowledge = Power and Time = Money, then it follows that Knowledge = Work/Money.

Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make.

(Hint: This isn't real, but it sounds convincing, doesn't it?)

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TODAY'S JOKE: Charlie Williams offers this for Sunday.

It seems a family of skunks was trapped in a thicket, surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves that were edging even closer.

The mother skunk calmly instructed her young, "Quickly, children, let's put our heads together!"

After they obeyed, forming a circle, she said, "Now -- let us spray!"


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