Honk if you hate sirens, phone sounds on radio, TV

Reading about one's failings in the daily newspapers is one of the privileges of high office.

-- Nelson Rockefeller

Let's close the week with your comments and contributions ...

Brian Mulherin called to say he understands my confusion with the mystery honks you get in parking lots as people lock their cars remotely and an empty vehicle beeps at you.

He said he has a similar problem listening to his car radio when suddenly a program or commercial features the sound of an ambulance, and he's not sure if it's real.

That's like me at home. My wife likes to leave the TV on all the time. Company, I guess.

Invariably some show will feature a ringing telephone or doorbell, and more than once I've gotten up to get it.

But that's not as bad as the time I dreamed the telephone rang and I woke up to answer it. It was several moments before I realized I was sitting on the edge of the bed in a darkened room, phone to my ear, listening to nothing.

Bill Dekle, of Millen, Ga., said it used to be different when it came to honking horns.

"I grew up riding horses in town, and there were many mule-drawn wagons there, on Saturdays especially. Nobody blew car horns because everybody was smart enough to not want to spook the animals."

SQUIRREL TALES: Got a comment on squirrels? A complaint about squirrels? A poem about squirrels?

Well, so many of you did, I spent a couple of hours Thursday collecting all your opinions and putting them on The Chronicle 's Web site. Check it out on my blog at augustachronicle.com. You can add your stuff there, too, instead of e-mailing me. That way we keep it all together.

IN A HURRY: The cop got out of his car, and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.

"I've been waiting for you all day," the policeman said with a smile.

"Yeah?" the young man said, "Well, I got here as fast as I could."

MATURE GIFTS: I found out that I am not alone after last Sunday's revelation that my wife and I exchanged "new tires" for Christmas.

Rosemary Heatherly, of Augusta, wrote: "We, too, give tires for Christmas ... but only to the one we love and care for the most -- our only son! For the past two years we have given him tires. This year we gave him a gift card for new, much needed shoes. But next year (May) will be tires for his birthday."

TODAY'S JOKE: Here's one from Bill Wood in Hephzibah.

It seems an older man approached an attractive younger woman at the mall.

"Excuse me; I can't seem to find my wife. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

The woman, feeling a bit of compassion for the old fellow, said, "Of course, sir. Do you know where your wife might be?"

"I have no idea," he said, "but every time I talk to a beautiful woman, she seems to appear out of nowhere."

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