Timing is everything when taking down the tree

Woodsman, spare that tree.

- George Pope Morris

When do you take down your Christmas tree?

At our house it's been one of the few unresolved issues of my marital experience. I discovered this early on quite by accident, when my wife took her mother home after a Christmas dinner. I made myself useful by reboxing all the tree ornaments, stripping off the lights, draining the water from the stand, then carrying/dragging the tree out the front door and around behind the house until I could "recycle" it at some future date.

My wife returned home to find me sitting in a chair where the tree had stood for weeks... and proceeded to suggest in rational and measured tones that I had ruined Christmas. "Sorry," I said. "I thought it was over. We took the stockings down, didn't we?"

We further discussed our holiday differences and hammered out a (familiar and all-too-common) compromise: I can't touch the tree until she says I can.

Still, I keep asking around. I found out most people don't seem to give it much thought.

Usually, they say. they keep the tree up until the weekend before the kids go back to school.

Good Housekeeping magazine seemed to vaguely suggest that "early January" is appropriate.

And some church Web sites say to leave it up through Jan. 6, when the 12 days of Christmas and Epiphany end.

Churches, tradition, homemaker magazines.

Where 's the fire marshal when I need him?

WHO KNEW? The New York Times reports that President- elect Obama is a private but avid golfer.

He shoots in the mid-90s and hopes to get his golf handicap down into single digits when he's retired.

"He wants to play all the best courses: St. Andrews, Pebble Beach, Bethpage Black," said Marvin Nicholson, the national trip director for Mr. Obama's campaign.

The Times says that would make him the 15th of the past 18 presidents to be enamoured with the game for which our community is famous.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Billy Cooper, of North Augusta, shares this quote:

"The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance."

- Cicero, in 55 B.C.

He wonders what we've learned in 2,000 years.

TODAY'S JOKE: Everett Fernandez shares this one.

A young boy was looking through the family album and asked his mother, "Who's this guy on the beach with you with all the muscles and curly hair?"

"That's your father," she said.

The boy frowned for a moment, then asked, "Who's that old bald-headed fat man who lives with us now?"

Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bill.kirby@augustachronicle.com.