Year in review: Turns out it was quick

Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.

-- Oprah Winfrey

Over the past few weeks, how many times have you said, "Boy, this year went fast."

Me, too.

But I believe I know why we think our lives are going faster and faster.

It's simple math.

Think of it this way. When you were 20, a year -- all 12 months of it -- was 5 percent of your life.

When you were 40, a year was only 2.5 percent of your life.

See, it's not as long. Because it's become a briefer part of your existence, it seems to happen faster.

If you missed anything, I'll offer this review of our visits during 2008.

JANUARY: I started the year by quoting noted philosopher (and Chronicle reporter) Tom Corwin, who once said: "You know you're in trouble when you are someone else's New Year's resolution," and like most good husbands I began the year with a list from my wife and stayed busy for 12 months.

I also shared the story of my weather-predicting dog. If I open the door and he won't go outside, neither will I. "If it's bad enough for him," I wrote, "that's good enough for me."

FEBRUARY: With the presidential primary season heating up, I shared my new political labels: Gliberals -- smart alecks who want to spend your money; Preservatives, old fogies who want to keep everything the same; and Condemocrats, generally the whiney wing of the national party, big on complaints and light on solutions.

MARCH: I asked you all what to do with old neckties and began to receive photos of your handiwork. I had never thought to make quilts out of them, but many of you had.

APRIL: I commented on the effort to conceive a new motto for America. I liked: "One nation, under Canada, above Mexico."

I also suggested that if women were serious about getting men to do housework, they could develop the John Deere riding vacuum cleaner.

MAY: With gasoline prices beginning to spike, we started a contest to guess when the local price would top $4. About 100 of you sent in guesses, hoping to win a $100 gas coupon. Unfortunately, no one picked Sept. 13, when it finally happened.

JUNE: I recounted my soaking adventure of rolling the tarp onto the field during a Sally League baseball game. I revealed that it's harder than it looks; you get thoroughly drenched and they pay you in beer.

JULY: I told you about going to New York to say goodbye to Yankee Stadium and Shea Stadium before they were torn down. I also spent a day riding the subways and visiting museums, but found that nothing topped a quiet summer afternoon in glorious Central Park.

AUGUST: I shared my problems with "destineasia" -- that affliction many of us suffer when we walk into a room and can't remember why, or what we were looking for.

SEPTEMBER: In a wonderful close for Augusta baseball fans, we watched our beloved GreenJackets finish their best season ever with the Sally League championship. I marked the final game by getting many of you to autograph a baseball. Players come and go, but Augusta baseball fans stay around.

OCTOBER: When your children get too old to trick or treat, I found many do what I did -- get their dog a costume. Mine dressed as a skeleton. (Because dogs like bones. Get it?)

NOVEMBER: We said goodbye to longtime political reporter Sylvia Cooper. As her boss, I shared the secret to managing her: Find out what she wants to do, and tell her to do it.

And faced with a historic Election Day, I suggested there are many ways to choose a candidate. My favorite: choose them like you'd choose a plumber. Is he not afraid to roll up his sleeves? Can he get the process unclogged? Can he keep working when something stinks?

DECEMBER: I was most gratified with your response to our Empty Stocking Fund plea. Despite the tough times many of us face, your annual giving set a new record.

Let's do it again next year.

Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bill.kirby@augustachronicle.com.