It's tricky to treat pooch to costume

Dogs are wise.

-- Agatha Christie

Halloween is fast approaching and I think it will be different this year.

My son is too old to go trick-or-treating. His mother and I think adults in costume are silly.

I guess it comes down to this -- it's time to dress up my little white dog.

What does he want to be this Halloween? Since I've been considering this opportunity, I discovered a surprising number of costumes available for small dogs.

Most of them defy description, but are laugh-out-loud hilarious.

I have tried to determine whether my dog has a preference, but so far he seems to be going along with whatever I suggest -- not one bark of protest, as long as he gets an ear-scratch in the deal.

Next Friday, you might have some Milk-Bone biscuits ready if we make it to your house.

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SPEAKING OF DOGS: Charlie Williams points out 14 reasons why some men have dogs and not wives.

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog's parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask: "If I died, would you get another dog?"

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup.

And last, but not least:

14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half your stuff.

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TODAY'S DOG JOKE: Here's one from Seth Benson .

As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door.

Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.

"Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner.

"Yep, that's him," came the reply.

The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"

"Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!"

Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bill.kirby@augustachronicle.com.