Why should I get my vamp on for books?

Sometimes I am not very good at my job.

As a writer and critic, it is my duty to jump into the pool of popular culture and attempt to come up with something of value in my teeth. As a result, I spend a lot of my time, both on and off the clock, immersing myself in music, movies, television and books.

But there are some places I'm just not willing to go.

The most notable is the writings of Stephenie Meyer.

She is the author of an insanely popular series of books about young love, vampires, werewolves and the Washington coast. A film adaptation of the first, Twilight , is scheduled for a November release, and the final book in the series, Breaking Dawn, was met with Harry Potter-like mania in early August. The books have sold 60 bazillion copies and fans, as I'm sure I'm about to discover, take the adventures of sweet Bella and the men/monsters willing to fight tooth-and-fang for her affections very seriously.

But I just can't seem to muster enthusiasm for the phenomenon.

I understand that I am not the primary demographic for these books, or the movie. But there are aspects of these books that, theoretically, might interest me. I love monster movies. My family is from Washington and I've been to the small town the stories are set in. It's beautiful country.

But it's not enough.

Perhaps I'm too callous to care about the romantic pining of a teen hot and bothered over first love and immortality. Perhaps the hype has left me cold. I know Star Trek fanaticism has done irreparable damage to my opinion of that phenomenon.

At any rate, I'm offering Twilight fans this opportunity to tell me why my unwillingness to get my vamp on is unfounded. Tell me why you love the books. What makes them powerful and compelling?

Bear in mind, I'm not much of a romantic, nor am I a teenage girl. That, in all probability, will eliminate a lot of arguments.

Still, I'm willing to listen and should I get enough responses, I promise to read the books and report on the experience here. I'm pretty sure that will be like a stake through the heart, but I'm willing to take one for the team.

Reach Steven Uhles at (706) 823-3626 or steven.uhles@augustachronicle.com.