Rest is overrated.

-- Willie Stargell

Nobody I know wants to retire anymore.

Oh, they talk about it. They acknowledge it. They might grumble that they can't afford it. But I suspect they don't want to give up the daily grind, and I think I know why.

Most of us think a never-ending vacation sounds nice, but it gets boring and it doesn't pay so well.

Then there's the debate on where to retire.

Everette Fernandez says that can be a problem, which he gladly shares with us today.

YOU CAN LIVE IN CALIFORNIA WHERE:

1. You make more than $250,000 and still can't afford to buy a house.

2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.

3. You know how to eat an artichoke.

4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.

5. The four seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud and Drought.

YOU CAN LIVE IN NEW YORK CITY WHERE:

1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.

2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.

3. You think Central Park is "nature."

4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.

5. You've worn out a car horn.

YOU CAN LIVE IN MINNESOTA OR MAINE WHERE:

1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup and Tabasco.

2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.

3. You have more than one recipe for moose.

4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with fewer than eight buttons.

5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter and construction.

YOU CAN LIVE IN THE SOUTH WHERE:

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.

2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.

3. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.

4. Everyone has two first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.

YOU CAN LIVE IN THE MIDWEST WHERE:

1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.

2. Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor.

3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.

4. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

AND YOU CAN LIVE IN FLORIDA WHERE:

1. You eat dinner at 4:15 in the afternoon.

2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.

3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.

4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.

5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.

My advice? Just keep working.