Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
-- Gail Godwin
Many of our young people are heading back to school -- an exercise we all remember. I can think of no better way to convey those memories than to share this list passed on by Everett Fernandez . They are question and answer responses from young elementary school pupils.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O and U.
Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Glenn: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have 10 years ago.
Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Louie, do you know why his father didn't punishÂhim?
Louis: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Harold: A teacher.
It could be a long school year.