Educators, be prepared to hear this

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Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.

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-- Gail Godwin

Many of our young people are heading back to school -- an exercise we all remember. I can think of no better way to convey those memories than to share this list passed on by Everett Fernandez . They are question and answer responses from young elementary school pupils.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen)

A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O and U.

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

Teacher: No, that's wrong

Glenn: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

Q: How is dew formed?

A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?

A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?

A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

A: Premature death.

Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have 10 years ago.

Winnie: Me!

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Louie, do you know why his father didn't punishÂhim?

Louis: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.

Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

Harold: A teacher.

It could be a long school year.

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