Road trip good time to listen to your wife

I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it.

-- Jonathan Winters

I will be on the road today, heading for an out-of-state wedding -- 16 hours round trip.

My wife asked me how I will pass the time, alone in a car that long, and I mentioned I could pick up attractive, young hitchhikers.

"They have such fascinating stories to tell," I said enthusiastically.

She vetoed the idea, so I guess I will be listening to the vast library of self-help audio books that people keep sending me as gifts.

I will return, no doubt, a better man.

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TRAVEL MAIL: I will leave you with the summer travel reports.

Joel , of Grovetown, sends another note from Wisconsin.

Bruce Jones , of North Augusta, writes: "I flew out here just to get you a card from Colorado."

Neal, Renee, Ryan, Wendy and Jeff Brown send "greetings from Parker, Colo. It's beautiful and hot. Having a great time."

Also in Colorado were Peggy and John Thompson and Susan and Jon Simowitz , who share a postcard as well.

The Fosters , of North Augusta, are finding awesome scenery in Canada.

Danny and Linda Trowbridge , of Evans, send cards from Rhode Island and a family wedding.

James Hooper, Camilla Hooper, Alva Lewis, Ethel Johnson, Ida Hooper, Lunette Patten, Annette Ross, Willie H. Bussey, Nellie Bussey and Daniel Bussey , all of Edgefield, S.C., were in San Diego to attend the Hooper-Bonham family reunions.

Also in San Diego at the same reunion was Sheryl Barnes , "having a great time with daughters Ashley, Courtney and Kimberly. "

Linda and Bill Getha are in Cumberland Falls, Ky., "revisiting our honeymoon spot from 37 years ago!"

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TODAY'S JOKE: A trucker was sitting at the lunch counter eating his morning eggs and hash browns when some bikers walked in.

One walked up and put his finger in the trucker's coffee and said, "That's not very hot, is it?"

Another put his finger in the trucker's scrambled eggs and said, "Not very fluffy, either, huh?"

After a few moments of silence, the trucker stood up, paid his bill and left the diner.

"Not much of a man, was he?" said the first biker to the waitress.

"You're right about that," she replied, "and not much of a driver, either. He just ran over your motorcycles."