Well, the Mathematicians of the Coliseum Authority have outsmarted Brains & Co. yet again.

What happened is when the authority was about to vote on a motion to negotiate a contract with Global Spectrum to manage the civic center complex last week, William Fennoy, one of the Mathematicians, surprised Brains & Co. with a substitute motion to negotiate the contract but not allow anyone who'd been fired within the past two years to be rehired. The motion passed 5-4.

Mr. Fennoy - also known as "The Defender" for his rasslin' skill in making "The Defender" Woody Merry a canvasback a few weeks ago - was acting on behalf of the Mathematicians who wanted to ensure that Brains & Co. wouldn't re-hire Facilities Director Julie Huggins, whom the Mathematicians fired after Harry "Harrisburg" Moore, the chairman of Brains & Co., put her to work despite their objections.

When Mr. Moore's term as chairman of the authority was up in April, Brains & Co. worked to get Keith "Which Way Is Home?" Brown elected chairman. When Which Way, the chairman of the Mathematicians, became chairman of the authority, Brains & Co. was assured of having a majority vote in most cases since the chairman can't vote except in case of a tie.

But Brains & Co. made a big mistake after they got mad when Which Way cancelled a meeting where they'd planned to re-hire Ms. Huggins with their six votes.

Instead of counting to 10, Freddie "Peckerwood Constable" Sanders and the rest of Brains & Co. got on their high horses, rode in and called for Mr. Brown to resign as chairman, never thinking he would actually do it. But he did, which meant he could vote again as a regular member. It also meant Vice Chairman Richard Isdell had to become chairman because the authority bylaws say so. So now Brains & Co. just have to sit there and take it while the Mathematicians add up their votes.

It's Five O'Clock Somewhere: An impressive list of Democrats and such Republicans as Augusta Commissioner Jerry Brigham, Remer Brinson and E.G. Meybohm, held a fundraiser for incumbent District 22 state Sen. Ed Tarver last week at the beautiful Milledge Road home of Mary and Rodger Giles.

Mr. Tarver entertained the crowd by telling them about his first run for the Senate and his first encounter with Mr. Giles.

He said he was asking everybody he talked to if they knew anyone else he could call who might help him, and banker Robert "Smiley" Osborne told him to call Mr. Giles, but to be sure not to call him late in the day. Mr. Tarver said he called Mr. Giles around 11 a.m., and Mr. Giles was very enthusiastic about his campaign.

"He gave me glowing compliments," he said. "He said I was going to win without a doubt and that he would do everything in his power to help me get elected. We had the nicest conversation. Then at the very end, he said. 'Now tell me who you are again.'"

Mr. Tarver also told a story about how Mr. Giles called him during the legislative session this year while they were on break, and he was standing in the hall with other lawmakers.

"At the end of every conversation, Rodger always says, 'I love you.'" Mr. Tarver said. " So I said, 'I love you, too, Rodger,' and J.B. Powell turned around and said, 'I thought your wife's name was Beverly.'"

Moby Dave Casts His Own Harpoon: Tenth District Republican Party Chairman Dave Barbee said it just makes him sick that "all these Republicans are spending their political capital locally on somebody who can't do a damn thing for them in Atlanta."

"Ed Tarver can't give them air in a jug," he said. "It's like if you're a Bulldog fan and you're donating money to Georgia Tech to come over here and whip your butt."

Paul King, the past president of the Downtown Development Authority, called in a snit to take exception to Mr. Brigham's anti-trolley-study e-mail that was printed in City Ink last week. Mr. King said $40,000 was not diverted from the sidewalk standardization fund to pay for a trolley study. Instead, they got a summer intern to do the sidewalk design work much cheaper, so they'll do the trolley study with the rest of the money. But isn't that diverting it?

Anyway, Mr. King also e-mailed Mr. Brigham with a similar, but much more polite, message, and stated: "There is a good deal of evidence that these types of rail projects may be the single most successful investment a city can make to promote downtown development."

"Yeah, maybe, but I think we should improve it by fixing sidewalks," Mr. Brigham said. "Forty thousand would be enough to pay for another brick sidewalk in front of another house on Greene Street."

An obvious jab at the $50,000 sidewalk the DDA put in front of the historic D'Laigle house.

On The Mend: We're happy to report that former Mayor Bob Young is doing fine after his prostate cancer surgery at Mayo Clinic on Friday. Children in the Communities in Schools program have made and are making cards for Mr. Young, which they'll send this week. But they'd better send them to his home address in Augusta, because his wife, Gwen, says he'll be home by Monday.

Transported: In his eight years on the Augusta Commission, Bill Kulkhe never got to head a committee, but last week he was elected chairman of the state Department of Transportation Board. (I think the other commissioners here were jealous of him because he was smarter than they were.)

Good Pay, Good Benefits, And Travel Opportunities: After we told you about how much gasoline some Augusta commissioners' cars are guzzling on taxpayers' dimes, someone wanted to know what other perks commissioners get besides gasoline.

So here goes.

Besides their $12,000 annual salary, (the mayor pro tem makes $20,000) they're eligible for city health, life and liability insurance. They get free cell phones or BlackBerries, and you pay the bills. They have reserved parking spaces at the Marble Palace. And they get free tickets to who-knows-how-many dinners and events, and Masters badges, compliments of the Augusta National.

And then there's travel. This year, $61,000 is budgeted for that. And as we speak, all but Commissioners Joe Bowles and J.R. Hatney are at the Georgia Municipal Association Annual Conference in Savannah.

The Association County Commissioners of Georgia Conference was there in April. And then there are the trips to Atlanta and to national conferences in far-flung cities.

High Octane Update: Since our last report on commissioners' gasoline use through May 23, Commissioner Alvin Mason has pumped $406.48 more for a year-to-date total of $1,735.98. Commissioner Corey Johnson has pumped $171.33 worth for a year-to-date total of $1,919.03.

At the rate they're going, if gas prices stay around $4 a gallon, by the time they leave office, taxpayers will have spent about $30,000 to keep them rolling.

The other commissioners who use city fuel cards don't come close.

Maybe I'll Just Buy A Cow: We had a health fair here at work last week, and they had this instrument you squeezed as hard as you could, and it measured your grip strength. Well, they said my grip was remarkable, as strong as a man's my age. That gave me a great feeling of superiority until I started thinking about what good it was.

All I could think of was I could open my own pickle jars when Ernie's not around, or I could throw away the bread machine and start kneading dough by hand again, or I could take up bowling.

"Your Lips Move, But I Can't Hear What You're Saying": I told Ernie I heard on the radio that women speak an average of 7,000 words a day, and men speak an average of 1,000 words a day, and he said that's because men are always saying, "Uh-huh."