You're invited. International Talk Like a Pirate Day is Sept. 19. This year that's a Friday, and local pirates are observing our holiday on the patio at The Bowery in Aiken's Alley section.

That's a long time from now, you say?

You need the time to practice.

Talk Like a Pirate Day is about a dozen years old. Mark "Cap'n Slappy" Summers and John "Ol' Chumbucket" Baur, two "old salts" in St. Petersburg, Fla., obviously with a lot of time on their hands, started talking to each other in pirate lingo.

Right away, it seemed like a good excuse for a party. They invited a not-so-savory collection of comrades to a beachfront bistro and told them to take up the mantra.

From the start they had a hit on their hands.

Since then, talking like a pirate each Sept. 19 has swept across the country and around the globe. If you haven't heard it -- where have you been and what have you been up to?

Devotees don't just swagger at parties; they also incorporate the dialect into all parts of their day -- even at work.

Say you're at the office and the phone rings. Unbeknownst to you, it's a likely future client calling.

Not so likely now when you answer the phone, "Aaargh! Avast! Me hearty bucko!"

You might want to take the whole day off.

Here's some pirate word practice, ye scurvy dog.

First, the four primary pirate words all begin with "A."

There's "Ahoy" for "howdy," or "Keep yer mangy boat away."

Then there's "Avast!" for "Holy cow!" or "You don't say?"

A versatile pirate word is "Aye," which means, "Why, yes, I agree. Saltwater Willie deserves to walk the plank." Then there's the variant, "Aye, aye."

The most useful word in pirate talk is the ubiquitous, "Aaargh!" Aaargh! can mean, "Yes, I'm enjoying this beverage," or, "Belay that, ye scoundrel!"

There's lots of "B" words too: Barnacle and booty, belay that and "be," as in, "I be a pirate."

There's "Yo, ho, ho" for "I'm having a great time now," or, "You were right. This grog grows on you."

There are swagger and scurvy, saltpeter, saucy, sea dog and shiver me timbers!

You'll stand under the Jolly Roger and try to stay out of Davy Jones' Locker.

You'll find "comely wench" is high praise indeed for a fair lady, and scurvy dog is something you don't want to be.

As the day goes on, you'll be speaking in whole sentences, like: "Aargh! Me hearty. I like the cut of yer jib." Which could mean, "Nice shot," or "Thanks for the beer."

Before the day is done, sure you'll be singing parts of the Pirate Song:

"No lawns to be mowing

or bills to be owin',

I dream of the great day to come

I'll dump the mundane

for the old Spanish Main

and trade me computer for rum!"

To practice, visit the official International Talk Like a Pirate Web site: www.talklikeapirate.com/.

STEPHEN D. HALE OF AIKEN IS A FREELANCE WRITER AND COMMUNITY ACTIVIST.