Callers' meaning is often lost in static

I don't exactly know what I mean by that, but I mean it.

-- J.D. Salinger

Sometimes you wonder what people are thinking.

You know it. I know it. And so does Charlie Williams, who shares the following examples of business calls, which probably explain why so many companies can claim: "We put the cuss in customer service."

For example:

Customer: "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?"

Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?"

Customer: "It's on the door of your business."

Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."

Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?"

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on."

Tech support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer: "OK."

Tech support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech support: "OK. Right-click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Can you tell me what you have done up to this point?"

Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click.' "

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PRE-MASTERS THOUGHTS: "Golf is a game in which you yell, 'Fore!' Shoot six and write down five.'' -- Paul Harvey

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TODAY'S JOKE: An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.

The next day he was back, resumed his position, and slept for an hour.

This continued for several weeks.

Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap."

The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar:

"He lives in a home with 10 children -- he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?"

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