Columnist
Misery loves company.
-- Henry Thoreau ... and others
I see sick people.
They surround me at work, greet me at church, reach for my hand on the street.
They often do so after blowing their nose, hacking into a hand or sneezing into a tissue that looks like it's already caught a cough or two.
I understand this is all normal -- just the human body's best effort at rounding up germs in a sort of gooey trap and kicking them out the door.
But I also know that might mean something's now headed in my direction, and it will be something I don't want.
It's probably something I don't want to share with my co-workers, either, because the Journal of Environmental Medicine suggests respiratory illnesses can cost as much as $134 per employee a year.
So I'm always on the lookout.
Years ago, a wiser, older (he had white hair) doctor told me that such precautions are far from foolproof.
"You can do everything right, then there's that one day you're standing on a street corner waiting for the light to change, and somehow, somewhere a germ finds you, and hits you just right."
Snopes, the Web site we often use to debunk urban legends, has lots of information on where germs like to hang out. They include some obvious, and not so likely, spots.
In the household: kitchen sponge, kitchen sink, toilet bowl, garbage can, refrigerator and bathroom doorknob.
In the workplace: the telephone receiver, the computer keyboard, the elevator button and the toilet.
In public: playground equipment, escalator handrail, shopping cart handles, picnic tables and portable toilets.
So I avoid them this time of year.
And I avoid people.
I cover the coffee cup on my desk with a napkin.
I wave at church instead of shaking hands.
I'm even careful with money, although Dr. Henry Boyter Jr., of the Occupational Health and Safety Administration, suggests the simple transfer of money does not seem to spread the most dangerous of germs.
I'm not taking any chances.
When I went grocery shopping this weekend I took my disposable, plastic gloves with me.
And so far it's all working.
And so far, so am I.
-
TODAY'S JOKE: The minister of a city church enjoyed a drink now and then, but his passion was for peach brandy. One of his congregants would secretly make him a bottle each Christmas.
One year when the minister went to visit his friend, hoping for his usual Christmas present, he was not disappointed, but his friend told him that he had to thank him for the peach brandy from the pulpit the next Sunday.
In his haste to get the bottle, the minister hurriedly agreed and left. So the next Sunday, the minister suddenly remembered that he had to make a public announcement that he was being supplied alcohol from a member of the church.
That morning, his friend sat in the church with a grin on his face, waiting to see the minister's embarrassment.
The minister climbed into the pulpit and said, "Before we begin, I have an announcement. I would very much like to thank my friend, Joe, for his kind gift of peaches ... and for the spirit in which they were given!"
