When it comes to science fair projects, son shouldn't pin his hopes on genetics

What is research but a blind date with knowledge?

-- Will Harvey

The youngest (two-legged) member of Kirby, Kirby & Son has been working on his science project this month, and I've been doing my part by staying out of his way.

It looks important and analytical, and I have no idea what he's out to prove (or disprove) with the effort.

His mother asked whether I might advise him, but I confided that my own science project at his age had been the uninspired "How a Battery Works."

This involved sawing a flashlight battery in half and displaying it beside a poster board with text created by stencils.

My research involved an afternoon at the public library copying notes from the World Book Encyclopedia onto index cards.

Unfortunately, such diligence did not lead to success. My grasp of the principles involved fell short of comprehension, and my science project no doubt reflected that fact.

There are some things in life you'd like to know, and some things in life you need to know.

Success is knowing which.

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MORE MAIL: Doris and Marty Charnock sent a postcard from Death Valley after they "spent a week in Las Vegas studying shows and the dark side of gambling. Just finished touring Scotty's Castle."

Also in Las Vegas were Sandra , Shirley and David Johnson , of Augusta, who sent greetings from the Riviera Hotel and Casino.

Finally, someone sent an anonymous Thank You Gram postcard to say my "kindness was appreciated."

What can I say?

"You are welcome."

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TODAY'S JOKE: Bill Wood , of Hephzibah, shares this one.

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.

Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.

Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me ... I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"