I'm for change, but not $1 coin

  • Follow Glynn Moore

As the candidates drop away like morbidly obese kids chasing an ice cream truck, my presidential bid is looking bright.

My campaign slogan has been: "I'm in it for the long haul, you all" -- and now is a good time to lay out my platform so you can vote wisely in October. Or November. Whenever.

I make no promises. Just guarantees for saving our great land. So, my fellow Americans:

- As the true candidate for change -- my new slogan is: "I like change" -- I would, as commander in chief, ruin the political career of any legislator who suggests killing the penny. My ancestors spent pennies, and I want my descendants to spend pennies. No matter that it costs more than 1 cent to mint a cent -- change is sacred, pennywise.

- I also would destroy any lawmaker trying to foist dollar coins on us. I've never seen a Susan B. Anthony or Sacagawea dollar coin in circulation, and now they're bringing out coins with presidents' heads on them. What's the point? People won't carry heavy metal when they can carry a wad of paper bills.

- I would invade Canada and Mexico, making illegal immigration largely impossible. (Anyone who swims across an ocean to the U.S. is welcome to stay.) If our neighbors don't like being taken over, tough! Adios, NAFTA!

- I would put armed guards in every bank. Aren't you tired of reading about banks getting robbed by guys who hint that they have guns? No more easy money! I'll make you a deal: If you wave your gun in the air to prove you're armed, survive the ensuing shoot-out with guards (perfect work for elite sharpshooters home from Iraq) and carry a bag of heavy dollar coins out the door, you can have it. You've got to ask yourself a question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk? (If you don't, my other offer is: Get a job!)

- I would bring trains back. Freight trains, passenger trains. That would reduce the number of trucks on crowded roads. (First dibs at railway jobs would go to ex-truckers.). New tracks would be elevated so we don't have them running into cars and cows and blocking traffic downtown.

- To give those trains something to haul, I would make manufacturers build factories in this country again. That would produce goods and jobs, reverse the recession and give bank robbers honest work.

Was that so hard? All it takes to save America is some common sense. I hope to see you at the polls in October. Or November.

Say, that reminds me of my new campaign slogan: "The future is ahead."

Reach Glynn Moore at (706) 823-3419 or glynn.moore@augustachronicle.com

Comments (9) Add comment
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runnergurl
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runnergurl 02/11/08 - 10:28 am
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1.Elimination of the $1 note

1.Elimination of the $1 note would save the US government up to $500 million per year, according to a Government Accountability Office Report published in 2002.
2.The elimination of the $1 note would result in $1 billion in savings for the vending machine industry who estimate that their industry alone could be favorably impacted from decreasing lost sales due to rejected $1 notes (most jams occur during peak sales periods such as lunch hours) and reduced maintenance costs to vending machines if consumers were to use a dollar coin in most transactions.
3.It is much more expensive for businesses to sort and count notes than coins.
4.$1 coins are more difficult to counterfeit.
5.The cost to process one thousand dollars worth of $1 notes at transit agencies is approximately $10.11. The cost to process the same amount in coins is $1.22.
6.The $1 coin has an average lifespan of 30 years versus 21 months for the $1 note.
7Coins are also more sanitary than notes and harbor fewer germs. Studies show that 94% of all $1 notes carry germs that could cause serious infections. Copper (the main alloy in $1 coins) is a bactericide, which means it can kill microbes as the coin is passed around.

Little Lamb
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Little Lamb 02/11/08 - 11:27 am
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RunnerGurl, you and I are

RunnerGurl, you and I are soul mates. I have been advocating for years that we abolish the penny and abolish the dollar bill. Our economy would hum along much better without such unnecessary relics clogging up the system.

WakeUpCall
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WakeUpCall 02/11/08 - 05:00 pm
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Based on the tone of the

Based on the tone of the article I'm guessing Mr. Moore to be 50+. If so he should know better, and remember the years of stagflation in the 1970s. The Federal Reserve is using every trick in its book to massively inflate U.S. money supply--to the tune of 15-20% per year! With a central bank hell-bent on destroying the remnants of purchasing power of our once great dollar I guess Mr. Moore intends people haul around wads of grubby dollar bills by the thousands to pay for basic foodstuffs like the poor citizens of Weimar Germany or Zimbabwe today. It's time to wake up and smell the coffee, sir.

WakeUpCall
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WakeUpCall 02/11/08 - 05:05 pm
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In the last 100 years the

In the last 100 years the Federal Reserve has reduced the purchasing power of the US Dollar by 96%. In other words. a US Dollar coin has almost the same buying strength of a penny 100 years ago.

Therefere, to a US serviceman from WWI a 2008 US Dollar coin IS A PENNY.

wienkeg
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wienkeg 02/13/08 - 02:34 pm
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Don't know where to start.

Don't know where to start. First, if the metal in a penny is worth more than the penny....no one will spend them, just hoard, not an economic boon! Dollar bills are inconvenient, I wish coins circulated. But first, we must convince all the vending machine makers to allow dollar coin usage, and get rid of the ability to use a $1 bill. As to robbing banks, yes easy to get the money, hard to get away with it. It's not worth someone's life for a few grand that's likely to get recovered. Anyway, you have to be a MORON to rob a bank, just use check fraud or another electronic scam, much more lucrative with lower penalties...no 20 year mandatory terms. This is my first comment. Mostly because I've never read anything so wrong, next to things I agree with. Nothing is sacred! To continue our move into the 21st century this must include CHANGE! It should also include national borders, after all....Mexico really needs taking over, it's so poor, and most of em live here anyway, we might as well have some say. Canadians....send me those well managed dollars. It might very well happen one day, that we cross the Canadian border for work.....they seem to have some sense.

Boston93
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Boston93 02/16/08 - 10:27 am
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Keep pennies, nickels, dimes,

Keep pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters. You don't see half dollars in circulation anymore, but are sold to dealers to profit from. The same for the dollar coins. As an individual, try to buy one dollar uncirculated coins from the mint and/or bank. No way.
You have to pay double to get them from dealers. How dealers get them for a dollar is beyond me. They are strictly for collectors to make profits and brag on. The Mint stopped distributing silver coins due to the silver content, yet they will sell them to you at the price of silver or more. Coins are beautiful and I enjoy collecting them for the beauty and value. They are also important to teach children the value of collecting and saving money which not only children, but rather adults could use a lesson on. As long as you collect at face value when possible, you will still be able to use them for emergencies if need be. Try buying groceries with stamps.

Boston93
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Boston93 02/16/08 - 10:27 am
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Keep pennies, nickels, dimes,

Keep pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters. You don't see half dollars in circulation anymore, but are sold to dealers to profit from. The same for the dollar coins. As an individual, try to buy one dollar uncirculated coins from the mint and/or bank. No way.
You have to pay double to get them from dealers. How dealers get them for a dollar is beyond me. They are strictly for collectors to make profits and brag on. The Mint stopped distributing silver coins due to the silver content, yet they will sell them to you at the price of silver or more. Coins are beautiful and I enjoy collecting them for the beauty and value. They are also important to teach children the value of collecting and saving money which not only children, but rather adults could use a lesson on. As long as you collect at face value when possible, you will still be able to use them for emergencies if need be. Try buying groceries with stamps.

Little Lamb
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Little Lamb 02/16/08 - 10:49 am
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Thanks for posting, Boston.

Thanks for posting, Boston. I still think the pocket money supply should be radically overhauled. No pennies, dimes, half-dollar coins - - or dollar bills or ten-dollar bills. That would leave us with nickels, quarters and dollar coins - - - and two-dollar, five-dollar, twenty-dollar and fifty-dollar bills (of course, the hundred can stay in circulation for the drug dealers).

Little Lamb
49260
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Little Lamb 02/16/08 - 10:51 am
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Next, make the size of the

Next, make the size of the nickel the size of today's dime. Make the size of the quarter the size of today's nickel. And of course, the size of the dollar the size of today's quarter. Less confusion in your pocket or purse. Not to mention the bulk.

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