This year, out with the anxieties

It's taken me a good while to come up with a New Year's resolution that I can keep, but I think I've finally found it: this year I'm letting go of my anxieties.

Let's face it, every teenager has anxieties, especially girls. This year, all that is changing. I will no longer feel guilty for wearing sweats to school. Nor will I feel foolish for wearing a dress and heels the next day.

This year I will stop feeling like an idiot for every typically female trait that I display. Yes, I got my ears pierced. No, that does not mean the apocalypse is coming. Yes, I do think that boy is cute -- and yes, mom, I do want to kiss him.

But in addition to that, I'm not going to be ashamed that I display some typically 'masculine' traits. I think bodily function jokes are hilarious, and most of my friends are boys. But no, grandma, I am not a lesbian. For 2008, I will be what I want to be when I want to be it.

I'm not sorry if I mistake you for someone I know and give you a hug. I happen to give wonderful hugs and you should feel blessed to receive one.

I'm not sorry that some of my relationships have failed, and though I do apologize if I hurt you, I will never be sorry that it happened. It's not silly to become emotionally involved, it's silly to never allow yourself to be loved. In 2008, I will love and be loved as much as I can.

I'm not sorry that the very idea of sexual acts sends me into fits of laughter.

I'm not going to be ashamed that I am a liberal in a very red state. I hated George Bush before it was cool and I am all for gay rights. (No, grandma, I'm still not gay.)

I'm still not going to apologize for my faith -- or lack thereof. I'm agnostic, and no amount of church pamphlets or threats of eternal damnation are going to change that. In 2008, I resolve be the round peg in a square hole.

In addition to all of that, I am no longer going to be ashamed that I am intelligent. I've worked really hard to be as eloquent and well informed as I am (if I do say so myself), and I'm not sorry if you haven't deemed it necessary to do so as well.

2008 is the year that I am releasing myself from unnecessary apologies. I am who I am and I adore that. I'm not sorry if you don't.

Hilary Matfess is sophomore at Greenbrier High School.