In America, we're free not to make sense

  • Follow Bill Kirby

In a country as big as the United States, you can find 50 examples of anything.

- Jeffery Chamberlain

Let's check the mail.

Bill Wood, of Hephzibah, points out some unique aspects of our modern life.

- Only in America: Do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

- Only in America: Do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a Diet Coke.

- Only in America: Do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

- Only in America: Do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.


SEEING AMERICA: Claire and Joel, of Grovetown, send a postcard from Florida that shows a very large couple on the beach.

Babara Smith and Kelly send a card of New York's Waldorf Astoria. They say they enjoyed the weather, the city and the theaters.

Helen Welch, of Thomson, sends a postcard from Myrtle Beach, S.C. She loves the seafood and the sea.


PERFECT BREAKFAST: Rita Hodgin, of Thomson, offers this idea of a woman's perfect breakfast.

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the front of the Wheaties box.

Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.

Her boyfriend is on cover of Playgirl.

And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.


EQUAL TIME: Mike writes: "I've been married since 1976, so when an opening presents itself with my wife, I usually take it.

"(I) was walking through the Augusta Cruise-in Car Show when I remarked to my wife that a car there looked like the old family '57 Ford Crestline that I rode in when I was a kid.

"My wife looked around and then said she did not see anything like what she rode in when she was a kid.

And I then commented, "The Augusta Horse and Carriage show was last week."

(Mike, you're a brave man.)


TODAY'S JOKE: Everett Fernandez shares this one.

An older man was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak with his son.

"Yes, Dad, what is it?"

"Don't be nervous, son," he said. "Do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife."

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mareeseamo 09/26/07 - 03:36 pm
Here's my Phone Book Novel:

Here's my Phone Book Novel: Wahl, won day winner weathers rainey, meehan Mike annis boyce, Bowen Jack, baker dees pye.Baker almond pye. Baker berry pye. Goetz deckrosh deberry.Mixon figgs ennis pye. Thiel bee good. Thai dunn! Debose, Bowen Jack eaton pye. "Puetz gross,noto good," Bowen Jack stotts yellin. "Tew mucha flower- Tew mucha salt- Tew sauer-knotts sweet." Meehan Mike stotts holleran,"Watt? Demby good pye!" Meehan Mike eaton pye. "Boyce wright.Thai noto good.Watt wendt wong?Almond pye not good. Berry pye wurst. Muza bender figgs! Weil cook more early Mundy, butt weil
holder figgs. Thiel bee best stovall

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