- Georg C. Lichtenberg
I'm not sure where he found it, but Bill Wood, of Hephzibah, shares these 10 Commandments of Marriage.
No. 1 - Marriages are made in heaven. But so, again, are thunder and lightning.
No. 2 - If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
No. 3 - Marriage is grand - and divorce is at least 100 grand.
No. 4 - Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. After that, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
No. 5 - When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.
No. 6 - Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
No. 7 - Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
No. 8 - Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
No. 9 - Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry. That is why a wife treats her husband like toxic waste.
No. 10 - A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
VACATION POSTCARDS: The Wrights, from Belvedere, are "visiting family in Wisconsin and Minnesota. Attended a Milwaukee Brewers game and they won, much to the delight of our Wisconsin family."
Rosemary Heatherly, of North Augusta, says bonjour from Paris, where she is studying the French Revolution and the Napoleonic Era.
"The Study Abroad programs through Augusta State are so fantastic!"
Doris and Marty Charnock are studying "dreams, angels and food" in a card from South Bend, Ind., which they say is hot, too.
Kris Kristensen, of Evans, checks in at the beach off Cape Hatteras, N.C.
Elizabeth, Alan, DeeDee and Pat send a card from Harbor Island, S.C., and this joke from Pat Harter: "What did one eye say to the other eye?"
"Between you and me, something smells."
Ashton and Amanda, of Martinez, and Jean Hamilton, of North Augusta, are in Hilton Head, S.C.
TODAY'S JOKE: A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's computer keyboard, and when he asked what she was doing, she said, she was writing a story.
"What's it about?" he asked.
"Beats me," she said. "I can't read."