Going phoneless leaves void in pocket, peace of mind

  • Follow Bill Kirby

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

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- Arthur C. Clarke

I was in such a hurry to get to work Wednesday (My motto: "So much fun, so little time.") that I forgot my cell phone.

It was upstairs charging, and I just left home without it.

I didn't realize it wasn't in my pocket until I'd pulled into the parking lot here at News R Us, and tried to call my wife to tell her I had again escaped my daily dash down River Watch Parkway.

Suddenly I realized I was disconnected from communication. Nobody could call me directly. Instantly.

Younger siblings could not seek my sage advice.

My teenager would have to call someone else to be told "No."

Aging parents would be left to wonder ... "Did he make it down River Watch this morning?"

I felt vulnerable.

It's like when you're out driving around on the weekend and realize you forgot your wallet, and you wonder: "If I get pulled over, will they accept my Sam's Club photo ID?"

The first thing I did was rush inside to my desk and call my wife to alert her that if an emergency arose, she'd have to use the "land line" at my desk.

The second thing I did was think to myself how much my life has changed.

Fifteen years ago I liked commuting because it was the one time of the work day when phone calls and trouble couldn't find me.

Thirty years ago, I carried a roll of dimes (Yes, the 10-cent things) in my glove box to use pay phones if the need arose on the job.

Today, I feel vulnerable if I can't feel my cell phone's familiar lump in my pocket.

I'm not sure how our forefathers explored this great land of ours without cell phones, but I'm sure there's a story there somewhere.

l

BASEBALL BEAT: I noticed in the paper that tonight's GreenJackets game at Lake Olmstead Stadium is "Turn Back the Clock Night."

I asked my wife if she thought I could go and my hair would grow back.

"Wait for 'Turn Back the Millennium Night,'" she suggested sweetly.

Anyway, tonight's game would be a good time to see baseball's hottest team ... and to contribute to several charitable endeavors, including one of my favorites - the Joseph M. Still Burn Center.

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TODAY'S JOKE: Here's one you readers may not have heard.

Billy Graham deplanes at the Charlotte airport and says to his driver, "Joe, I've never driven a limo; how about letting me try it?"

Joe says, "OK, I've never sat in the back before, so I'll try that."

They take off, and Billy gets a little heavy-footed, and a rookie cop pulls them over.

He looks at Billy's license, walks back to his car and calls his supervisor and tells him he has stopped a VIP for speeding, and he doesn't know how he should handle it.

The supervisor says, "Well, who is it? Is it the governor?"

"No."

"Well, it's not the president, is it?"

"No."

"Well, who can it be?"

"I don't know," the trooper stammered, "But if Billy Graham is driving his car, I think I know."


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