Originally created 12/19/06

It's too much, too soon for talk about marriage

THIS WEEK'S PROBLEM: I have been dating this one boy for four months and we know we are in love, but is it too soon to be talking about marriage? - 17-year-old girl from Trenton, S.C.

TEEN REPORTER KAMILLE BOSTICK SAYS: In love is one thing, ready for marriage is another.

After just four months of dating, marriage should not be the main component of your conversations.

Now is the perfect time to be focusing on enjoying and building on what you have.

If you spend too much time planning a future together, you'll miss out on those things in the present that can be warnings of things to come. You don't want to be one of those people who later wishes that they had taken things slower.

At 17, your plans should center on what personal growth you can accomplish instead of what color your bridesmaid dresses are going to be.

Marriage is no fairy tale and though talking about it might seem romantic, it's a serious commitment. Too many young couples get caught up in wanting to have a serious relationship than actually having one.

Though talking about getting engaged (or even getting engaged) seems like the perfect way to announce your love or care for someone, it's not a substitute for being in a relationship that can actually sustain a marriage.

In short, it is too soon to be talking about marriage because I'm certain your conversations aren't about what will happen beyond the wedding day, or after you two realize how much hard work has to go into a relationship.

Give your relationship a chance to grow and save the marriage talk for after you've observed some people who are married. You have lots of time.

Talk to us

Got a problem with school, work or family life? Let us help. The Xtreme Advice Line is your way to share any problem and get some feedback. Go to augustachronicle.com/xtreme to tell us about it, or call the Advice Line voice mailbox at (706) 823-3358. You'll have one minute to give us your situation. Speak clearly and state your age and hometown.

You can e-mail problems to kamille. bostick@augustachronicle.com. Put "Advice Line" in the subject line. Include age and hometown. E-mail addresses will be kept confidential. Questions might be condensed for space.


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