Originally created 10/31/06

School chief should make his last day eventful

If we take care of the moments, the years will take care of themselves.

- Maria Edgeworth

Today is the last full day on the job for Richmond County school Superintendent Charles Larke, who is heading into retirement.

After a lifetime as a pupil, student, teacher, administrator and school superintendent, how would you spend that last day?

Well, here's my list of the top 10 things I would do if I was in his place:

10. Take over morning PA microphone at Richmond Academy and wow school with Marvin Gaye medley.

9. Go through school lunch line, pretend to have left wallet in desk but tell cashier, "I'll bring it tomorrow."

8. Get last free checkup at school nurse's office; see if they have flu shots.

7. Get ready for big Augusta Spartans tryout by practicing field goal kicks at new Laney Stadium with Interim Superintendent James Thompson as holder.

6. Send fake memo to John S. Davidson Fine Arts School announcing that latest version of SAT exam will have clogging component.

5. Chew gum as he visits several classes. If any teacher complains, ask: "What will they do, fire me?"

4. Volunteer to drive school bus this afternoon and see if you can break record time for an afternoon drop-off.

3. Quietly return book Contract Negotiations Made Easy, which Pete Fletcher has been looking for, to Lamar Elementary library.

2. Slip into boys restroom and light up retirement cigar.

1. Borrow Josey Eagle mascot costume and go trick-or-treating tonight in A.K. Hasan's neighborhood. Not looking for candy.

TODAY'S QUESTION: Why doesn't Buick rhyme with "quick"?

TODAY'S JOKE: I think Rich Rodgers sent in this one:

An old man limped into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, my knee hurts so bad, I can hardly walk!"

The doctor slowly eyed him from head to toe, paused and then said, "Sir, how old are you?"

"I'm 98," the man announced proudly.

The doctor just sighed and looked at him again. Finally he said, "Sir, I'm sorry. I mean, just look at you. You are almost 100 years old, and you're complaining that your knee hurts? Well, what did you expect?"

"Well," the old man said, "my other knee is 98 years old, too, and it doesn't hurt!"

Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bill.kirby@augustachronicle.com.


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