Fashions fade; style is eternal.
- Yves St. Laurent
At work, I wear suits and ties. I have a lot of both.
At home, I'm more of a T-shirt, old running shoes, gym shorts kind of guy.
This has long irritated the women (wife and mom) in my life, who seem horrified that I will wander out in public and bring embarrassment to the family (that is, my wife and mom.)
I point out that my true identity is protected - much like Clark Kent's glasses - by always wearing a baseball cap. But they still complain.
As a compromise, I agree to shop at odd hours - early in the morning or late at night, so I won't run into anyone we know.
That is why I slipped into the grocery store parking lot one morning last week, dressed casually but certain I would be shopping alone. There were only four cars in the parking lot.
I knew all four of the drivers: a TV personality, a member of the Board of Regents and two of my co-workers.
Fortunately, they were all dressed casually, too, so our secrets are safe.
MORE VACATION POSTCARDS: April, from Grovetown, sends a card from South Carolina with extraordinary news - she found gasoline in Seneca selling for $1.72 a gallon! Elsewhere, Ed and Mary Boothe, of Evans, were on a cruise around the Bahamas. Samantha Beckworth, Angela Parker and Amelia Samuels, of Hephzibah High, were in Nashville, Tenn. Phyllis Badke was in Nashville, too.
Ginny and Jeff Guerrant, of Aiken, enjoyed North Carolina. Arlene Candy and Kathy Walker liked St. Louis. And Sharon, David and Joy and Dennie saw grizzlies, moose and other sights, including a midnight sunset in Alaska.
TRUE CONFESSIONS: I was not traveling this weekend, but my wife was, visiting her mother out of town.
That's why Saturday night found me on the couch with a cold Coca-Cola in one hand and a bag of Tostito chips beside me.
The grass had been cut, the yard work completed. I had taken a shower.
Now I had the TV remote switching back and forth between the Braves and Falcons. Life is good.
TODAY'S JOKE: Here's one from Bill Wood in Hephzibah:
Husband Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary and his wife angrily announced, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there."
The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window, and sure enough there was a small box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand-new bathroom scale.
Funeral services for Ed have been scheduled for Friday.
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