Originally created 08/08/06

Silence signals end to girls' friendship



THIS WEEK'S PROBLEM: I have a friend who is currently mad at me because I called her several times to see what was up. She then got upset with me because she said I knew she was busy (even though I didn't). She said she will always call me back, but now, she won't talk to me or answer my calls. She is just ignoring me. She told my boyfriend that I annoy her, but why won't she just tell me what I did wrong? Should I try to talk to her about it or just let it go? (She has done this to me in the past, too).

XTREME REPORTER KAMILLE BOSTiCK SAYS: You're being naive, and a bit clingy. Why are you waiting for this "friend" to tell you what you did wrong? Why are you seriously considering remaining friends with someone who doesn't have the courtesy or the respect to talk with you about what's troubling your friendship?

Judging by what you said, this friendship is beyond broken. Her reasons won't add up and any changes you decide to make won't be enough.

This silence is not because you called her when you should have known she was busy (who knows when someone is busy; phones don't come with warning rings that say the person on the other end can't be bothered), it's because she has decided that your friendship is no longer required.

You don't have to be a mind reader to see that this girl has decided that you are not a vital part of her social circle. That she can go so long, and has done so before, without talking with you or considering that you might need to talk with her, proves she isn't committed to this friendship.

Maybe you call at inconvenient times or maybe you call too much, but in what friendship, where two people are supposed to be open, honest and always there for one another, would that be a problem?

You don't need a friend who is concerned only about what she's doing and never what you need. You certainly don't need a friend who thinks you are annoying.

This girl is not your friend anymore. Hang up your need to have things resolved between the two of you and stop being the one holding on to this friendship.

TALK TO US

NEXT WEEK'S PROBLEM: I have this problem with my boyfriend. We've been dating for three years, and (for) almost one year, we've had a problem with his ex-girlfriend. He just thinks it's OK to speak and talk to her. Most of our problems in our relationship are because of her.

I'm wondering if he keeps speaking and talking to her, should I stay with him or let him go?

What would you say to this 19-year-old Edgefield girl?

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