I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope
Your vacation postcards are rolling in. Doris Charnock sends a note from North Carolina, where she is visiting the first Fabric Festival in Cullowhee.
Sandy and Myra Fisk, of Sparta, Ga., are having a great time in Scotland. "Played Carnoustie ... going to Edinburgh today. Sandy gets to play the Old Course at St. Andrews tomorrow."
Doug Fleiss, of North Augusta, sends a card from Kansas, just to make sure I get one. "Have a great summer," he writes.
Jim and Eve Richardson send a card from New Jersey, where "we came for our daughter's ordination," they write. "Weather is hot and rainy; the place is full of Yankees."
Eddie and Eunice Bailey, of Evans, are "having a great time in Oahu!"
And Ed Groover is "enjoying my trip to Japan with my daughter Valerie Long. The Atomic Bomb Museum is awesome."
What about you? If you're traveling this summer, why not drop me a postcard in care of The Augusta Chronicle, 725 Broad St., Augusta, GA 30901.
EMPTY RING: I usually drive down the road to an elementary school to dump my recycled newspapers.
That's where I was one afternoon last week when the school bell suddenly rang.
It made sense. It was that time of day, only not that time of year.
The doors did not burst open with pupils rushing into the sunshine.
The parking lot was empty except for my car.
There were no yellow buses lined along side the driveway. The playground was empty.
It was like that Twilight Zone episode where all the people vanish and the last man on Earth is left to figure things out.
TODAY'S JOKE: Here's one from Billy Cooper of North Augusta:
A family was on its way to the hospital where the 16-year-old daughter was scheduled to undergo a tonsillectomy.
During the ride, the teenager and her parents talked about how the procedure would be performed.
"Dad," the teenager asked, "how are they going to keep my mouth open during the surgery?"
Without hesitation, he said, "They're going to give you a phone."