The comedy of man survives the tragedy of man.
- G.K. Chesterton
A bunch of us were sitting around over the holiday talking about traffic tickets and which excuses work and which don't. I thought about asking my pals at the state patrol what they thought, but somehow I don't think they would tell me.
The best research I could get was a May 2006 survey done by Response Insurance, which found the profile of the person most likely to try to talk his way out of a ticket.
I say "his" because - according to the insurance company - male drivers with more money, more children, higher education and talking on a cell phone are more likely to plead their case along the side of the road.
The Response Insurance Driving Habits Survey revealed:
- That 22 percent of men (only 13 percent of women) attempt to talk their way out of moving violation.
- About 25 percent of the drivers with incomes higher than $75,000 (vs. just 16 percent of those making less than $25,000) try to get out of a ticket.
- 21 percent of drivers with children (vs. 11 percent of singles) ask the officer for a second chance.
- And 20 percent of college grads (vs. 10 percent with less than high school diplomas) make the attempt.
- Finally, 19 percent of the drivers talking on cell phones try to keep talking and explain their case.
The survey has a margin of error of plus or minus 3 percent.
If you look at this overall, it tells me at least that the majority of us take our medicine and don't try to make excuses despite our gender, education level or income.
TODAY'S JOKE: Here's another one from Billy Cooper of North Augusta.
A husband and wife go to a counselor after 15 years of marriage.
The counselor asks them what the problem is, and the wife goes into a tirade, listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married.
She goes on and on and on. Finally, the counselor gets up, goes around the desk, embraces the woman and kisses her passionately.
The woman calms down and sits quietly in a daze.
The counselor turns to the husband and says, "That is what your wife needs at least three times a week."
"Fine," the husband said. "I can bring her back on Mondays and Wednesdays, but Fridays, I go fishing."
Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or firstname.lastname@example.org.