Determining moods is a sad business

Depression is the inability to construct a future.

- Rollo May

Feeling OK?

Well, if not, there's a reason. Monday was supposed to be the Most Depressing Day of the Year.

Health magazine reported last year that Jan. 24 was the year's worst day for feeling down in the dumps, and this year the first month's fourth Monday fell on the 23rd.

"People feel as if there is a shadow over them; with low light levels creating Seasonal Affective Disorder, holiday bills hitting the mailbox, and New Year's resolutions already broken, depression is rampant," said a news release from a stress expert who wanted us to interview her for the newspaper.

This Depressing Day business was all started by Dr. Cliff Arnall, who spends his academic Decembers calculating misery peaks and studying seasonal disorders at the University of Cardiff, Wales. He created a formula that purports to devise a person's low points.

I can find no evidence that Dr. Arnall has used his formula to figure out what the Happiest Day of the Year is.

If only he'd use his powers for good.

l

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS: Still exercising? Consider these points:

- Walking can add minutes to your life. In fact, this enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5,000 per month.

- My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where she is.

- I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

l

DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS: Someone sent in a Friday note about how popes pass away every year that Prince Charles gets married. Unfortunately, they inaccurately stated Pope John Paul I died in 1981.

He did not, that was 1978. Thanks to those who pointed this out.

My apologies.

l

TODAY'S JOKE: There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about 6 years old. Something of his had found its way into my garage, he said, and he wanted it back.

On opening the garage door, I noticed two additions: a baseball and a broken window sporting a baseball-size hole.

"How do you suppose this ball got in here?" I asked the boy.

Taking one look at the ball, one look at the window, and one look at me, the boy exclaimed, "Wow! I must have thrown it right through that hole!"