Mercy, mercy, Mr. Percy. Augusta's first commission meeting of the year went from the sublime to the ridiculous in the time it takes to bang a gavel.
No sooner had the eloquent prayers ended than gridlock began. Ten minutes into the meeting, a woman in the second row was moved to say, "No prayers was answered."
Commissioners split along racial lines on electing a mayor pro tem, with Mayor Pro Tem Marion Williams, who wants to retain the title, abstaining to keep Mayor Deke Copenhaver from voting to break a tie.
Without a new mayor pro tem, Mr. Williams successfully claimed his right to carry on in that role until a new mayor pro tem is elected. But he was stymied in his move to appoint standing committees when rival Commissioner Andy Cheek moved to table that issue to the end of the meeting. And there it still lies.
Commissioners also split on a severance package for fired engineering department Director Teresa Smith.
A motion to give her six months' salary plus 190 days of accrued vacation failed 4-6 with the board's five black commissioners and white Commissioner Jerry Brigham voting against it. Mr. Williams doesn't want the package to be approved because Mrs. Smith would have to agree not to sue the city, which he wants her to do, and he has said he will testify on her behalf.
A motion to deny the severance package also failed 5-4, with Commissioner Johnny Hatney abstaining.
Mr. Hatney and Commissioner Calvin Holland, who must think they're still working for the Richmond County school board, were taken aback by the concept of an "at-will employee," which means one works at the will of the mayor and commission.
"Are you saying you have the authority to fire folks at will without a recommendation from their supervisors?" Mr. Hatney asked.
City Attorney Stephen Shepard told him commissioners can fire any department head at any time, "whether her supervisor's evaluation is good, bad or indifferent."
Mr. Holland was appalled Mrs. Smith had been fired without documentation and written warnings.
"From what I've heard and what I've seen here, what's been done is a complete travesty of injustice towards this lady," he said.
And Mr. Hatney actually made the argument for giving the administrator hiring and firing power, which was one of the divisive issues proposed by Mr. Cheek that led to the Dec. 19 walkout by interim Mayor Willie Mays and four black commissioners.
"If we're going to supervise, we don't need an administrator," he said. "We're wasting money."
In the end, Mrs. Smith was kept on administrative leave with pay, at least until the next meeting.
Mr. Copenhaver said Tuesday's meeting did not set the tone for the rest of the year. Let's hope he's right.
OVERHEARD: "This is the best show in town."
"They're making this up as they go."
TOUCH IT AND YOU DIE: I laughed out loud when I read the Rev. Sam Tanksley Jr.'s letter to the editor last week voicing his opposition to Mr. Cheek's proposals to give the mayor veto power and allow commission motions to pass with a majority of members present.
The Rev. Tanksley said the mayor, Mr. Cheek and Commissioner Joe Bowles want the changes based on race although they deny it. If they aren't based on race, he reasons, why were they not pursued while Mr. Mays was in office?
"Black Augustans are not stupid," he wrote. "We know the reason behind the changes is to oppress us."
Now we know that is a great fear, and if I were black I'd probably feel the same way. However, the Rev. Tanksley is mistaken about the changes not being pursued while Mr. Mays was interim mayor.
They were.
Richmond County legislative delegation Chairman Rep. Henry Howard and former Mayor Bob Young each appointed three members to a committee to study the consolidation law.
In September, Mr. Howard called a town hall meeting with the delegation to receive a report from the committee and to hear details of a bill Sen. J.B. Powell is proposing that would give the mayor veto power, make commissioners' abstensions count as "no" votes and a simple majority of the board a quorum.
What makes all this comical in retrospect is that two of the committee members, Tim Moses and Braye Boardman, were livid that they had not been notified about the meeting. Mr. Moses speculated that it was a coordinated effort between Mr. Howard and Mr. Powell to make changes in the law that would give the mayor more power in anticipation that Mr. Mays was going to be mayor.
So it's like one of my editors said last week, "People remember what they want to remember."
That's true, but sometimes they need to be reminded of the facts.
Anyway, that's not the main thing about the Rev. Tanksley's letter that prompted me to call him. It was this:
"... I pray that God will bless this commission as a whole. Please don't force me to ask Him to curse any of you.
"Remember the pole at Fifth and Broad streets. Leave the commission as it is."
I called the Rev. Tanksley to ask him if he'd ever cursed anybody before and whether it worked, because I had a few people I'd like to put one on myself.
He said he was just using "hyperbole" to get attention when he wrote that. He said it worked, too. He got a lot of reaction from the letter.
I asked him if it was good reaction or bad reaction.
"Some good. Some bad," he said. "Mostly bad."
REMEMBER THE POLE?: That pole the Rev. Tanksley mentioned is known locally as the "Haunted Pillar" at Fifth and Broad streets. It was all that was left of the farmers market that stood there from 1830 to 1878 after a traveling preacher put a curse on it and a tornado destroyed it. The preacher, they say, was mad because the folks in charge wouldn't let him preach there. Whoever attempted to move the pillar was supposed to be struck dead. Of course, the truth is the pillar's been moved and repaired and touched several times, and nobody died. But don't say I said that.
THESE GUYS COULD FIX IT: With the defeat of commission efforts to reform the government, any changes must be pursued by state legislators.
"It's up to J.B. and Ed now," said one Marble Palace regular. "Senators J.B. Powell and Ed Tarver," he added, noting that right around the corner at Monument and Ellis streets in the old Dodge Building was J.B. and Ed's Garage, a political gathering place in the 1960s and '70s.
Sure enough, J.B. and Ed's is still there and operating, although J.B. Delaughter and Ed Grisby have passed from the scene. The garage is now owned by Danny Lucas, who bought it in 1984 when Mr. Grisby was dying of cancer.
"They used to have fish-frys in here," Mr. Lucas said. "They fed the deputies all the time. I think they drank a lot of liquor and told a lot of lies. At one time everybody came down here. That goes back to when Mutimer was sheriff."
Mr. Lucas said he left the name on the garage because J.B. and Ed had been there since 1949.
"They both worked for the Lincoln Place," he said. "I went fishing with them a couple of times. They were just good old boys from Edgefield."
Reach Sylvia Cooper at (706) 823-3228 or sylvia.cooper@augustachronicle.com.