Originally created 11/22/05

End relationship if younger boy is more appealing

THIS WEEK'S PROBLEM: My boyfriend and I have been together for the past six months. Now I feel like our relationship has come to a standstill. I met a new person and I really like him. ... He's got all good qualities except he's younger than me. I've never talked to a younger guy. My current boyfriend is older than me and he's got this thing in his head where he's not going to let me go and he always finds a way to persuade me to stay with him. I don't know how to end it, but I want to. Should I start a relationship with the new boy?

XTREME REPORTER KAMILLE BOSTiCK SAYS: Before you begin anything with a new guy, you need to get yourself out of this relationship.

If you aren't happy with this older guy, tell him so. After you've told him, stop having contact with him.

The only reason you probably can't end it is because you're afraid. If you're scared of what he might do, then you need to get the help of an adult. If you're afraid of asserting yourself, then you need to get the help of a friend who can let you know that you deserve to have your needs met.

As for this younger guy, don't let age keep you from getting to know him. If he's a good person who will treat you respectfully, you'd be foolish not to give him a chance. That's not to say that dating a younger guy is going to be easy, but you should give it as much chance as you would anyone.

Be warned, though, that if he's too much younger than you, then you're looking to walk into a potential land mine. Age might be just a number in the eyes of songwriters, but in the law it means something.

One other warning - it wouldn't be a bad idea for you to take things slowly between ending one relationship and starting another. Think about it, and good luck.

NEXT WEEK'S PROBLEM: I have a boyfriend that is very popular at school and we have a 2-month-old child. The seniors had to vote on the senior superlatives and my boyfriend was voted "Biggest Flirt." How should I feel about that? Should I be mad or what?

Do you have any advice for this 17-year-old girl?

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You can also e-mail your problems to kamille.bostick@augustachronicle.com. Put "Advice Line" in the subject line. Remember to include your age and hometown. All e-mail addresses will be kept confidential. Questions may be condensed for space.


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