Television finally has gone too far

The future is upon us and it looks bleak.

Just as frightening as killer Terminator robots or the sinister-sounding HAL in 2001: A Space Odyssey are the technological twists and turns in the television industry. This week, AOL announced that a slew of classic television programs, including Welcome Back, Kotter and Wonder Woman will be available as free downloads. Well, sort of free. You'll have to sit through four 15-second advertising spots.

This follows closely on ABC's making some of its more popular shows, including Desperate Housewives, available for iPod download.

I'm all for convenience. I'd much rather flip my thermostat than trudge outside to split logs. This trend of television anywhere and at any time, however, is robbing society of one of its most simple and sublime pleasures - the couch crash.

Check it out. If I can get the Braves game beamed to my laptop, iPod, wristwatch or whatever the next technological step might be, what excuse will I have for blowing off mowing the lawn and catching a little nap between the fourth and sixth innings?

Television is supposed to be a sedentary pursuit. It's that sinking into the couch, digging for the remote and admitting that for the next couple of hours you will be doing nothing productive that provides a sense of shame. It's that guilt which eventually stokes the fires of motivation and urges the potato in all of us to read a book, clean a room or at least be somewhat social.

I'm not shifting into fear-monger mode. I'm not saying that easy access to programming will lead to the breakdown of society or turn us all into drones worshipping at the altar of network TV.

What I am saying is this: Television, as it exists today, is addictive enough. It saps us of precious hours and encourages us to invest, emotionally and intellectually, in programming that isn't worth the effort. Imagine if, while stepping out for lunch, waiting in line at the grocery store or during the morning commute, we could get a little Lost. How much of the world around us would we miss? How much more insular would society become?

All the ranting and raving in the world won't stop the future from arriving. We're a society that always will love convenience. The best we can do is feel bad, in advance, for the extra hours we will be able to wile away while glued to the tube.

Now, if you'll excuse me, my show is on.

Reach Steven Uhles at (706) 823-3626 or steven.uhles@augustachronicle.com.