Looks like Christmas, feels like Labor Day

"Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening."

- Barbara Tober

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Most of you probably notice the red-and-green decorations have been up in area stores since before Halloween.

Unfortunately, it's not still not feeling a lot like Christmas. Much too warm, much too mild, much too much like September.

I've tried to get up to holiday speed.

The car radio is tuned to the Christmas music station, and this weekend I dropped by the mall just to walk around and soak up some holiday cheer.

I'm not sure it worked.

There's something about wearing cutoffs and a short-sleeve shirt that thwarts the resonance of jingle bells.

And then there's this.

As I walked out, I overheard the woman in front of me talking on her cell phone. She was telling someone that she had "lost" her car and couldn't figure out where she had parked.

I smugly walked past, thinking to myself that not everyone can be as clever as I am.

I hurried to my own vehicle ... only to find it wasn't there.

It turned up 10 minutes later and 50 yards away from where I thought I'd left it.

Weather or not, I appear to be in midseason form.

MAIL: Speaking of warm weather, world traveler Harry Mercer has mailed a postcard from Brazil: "Spending a little time golfing. It's spring here."

Skip and Wren Peterson also found some seasonal warmth at St. Pete Beach in Florida. They write: "Great weather! Great beach! Great seafood. Go LYNX!!"

TODAY'S JOKE: Bob goes to see his supervisor in the front office.

"Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."

"We're short-handed, Bob," the boss replies. "You know I can't give you the day off."

"Thanks, boss," Bob said with a smile. "I knew I could count on you!"

Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bill.kirby@augustachronicle.com.