Home repairs keep owners on their toes

"The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store."

- Kin Hubbard

We all watch shows like This Old House, where wise and skilled carpenters restore century-old dwellings to their previous splendor.

Unfortunately, most of us live in much newer dwellings with much more irritating restorations needs.

I know. I have lived in the same house for a dozen years and have come to a conclusion that a 12-year-old house is like a 5-year-old car - things keep taking turns breaking down. Through some mysterious law of household physics, they never seem to happen at the same time, but in odd sequences that ensure you're always in a state of fixation.

For example, our dishwasher and oven quit working two years ago. When we got them fixed, the microwave waved good-bye. The walls are being repainted for a second time. It's a long process, which began last spring and has crept forward.

The carpet gave up the fight this summer. A newer pile in a darker hue is favored by our dog.

About five years ago, the backyard got a wooden fence. It is a good fence, a sturdy fence. But the gate to that fence has warped and has to be slammed to be shut. This is important, I am told, because good gates make good neighbors.

Lately the roof has been leaking - but never in the same place. And internally, there's a leak from the second floor that trickles down to the first-floor ceiling, only we can't find the source.

Just last month, we got new blinds for all the windows. I was so proud, I took photographs of them, which I plan to present to my wife in a month or so. And when I do, I will tell her, "Merry Christmas! This is it."

She will understand. She has noticed all these repairs and all these replacements. She usually notices them at a kitchen table strewn with papers, statements, torn envelopes, a calculator and a shrinking checkbook.

"We could always move," I'll suggest quietly.

But she won't hear of it. She says we have to finish painting first.

We'll be here for awhile.

Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bill.kirby@augustachronicle.com.